Wife wants my 12 year old to have her own study. Strategy?

Check_Your_Premises

Awhile back I was smart enough to tell my wife I didn't want anybody instructing the children outside the home. I tried to make some other changes, such as the kids go to church with me every other weekend. Well my 12 year old has been thoroughly indoctrinated to believe that other churches are Satan! I backed off, since I figured all it would do is rienforce the dub doctrine in a 12 year old.

Now wifey calls today to tell me she thinks she should have her own study. I figure I don't have a credible reason to say know. On the other hand, the potential study lady is a young, unmarried sister and a total know-it-all bossy bitch! I was thinking of sitting her down before she started, just to explain to her that I am in charge of the religious instruction of my family so she knows she is there only with my permission.

Next I thought of asking her my standard dub defense type question. "So, what do you think about me given the fact that I chose to not be a witness at this time?" I like doing this cuz it really puts them on the spot, and makes it a little more difficult for them to run around bad mouthing you. Then I was thinking of telling her that I would appreciate that she NOT talk about me or my relationship with my daughter, or in anyway run down my religious choices.

I know this sounds half baked. I am just looking for some good ground rules. Also I would like to piss her off a little bit also.

I am getting nothing but jws on their best behavior since I kind of called them out before my wife's baptism. I think they are all trying very hard not to butt into my life or act like your run of the mill jw's. The downside is my wife doesn't see them treating me like garbage. I need to get the ball rolling on that! She is an elder's daughter, and thinks she knows everything. I figured she could really get me some good jwbb (jw behaving badly) moments.

Thoughts?

CYP

kid-A

You mean your wife wants this JW to have a study alone with your child? What does your kid think? If I were you, I would just say no way, no how. I wouldnt let my kid be exposed to that crap.

AK - Jeff

CYP -

Is the family intact? That is, do you, wife and daughter share the same house?

If so, I would open two options only.

1- As head of house, I do the religious instruction here. Period.

2- As head of house, I sit in on any study conducted here, and add my opinions and religious ideas as I see fit.

You could at least 'float the idea' and see where it goes.

IMHO

Jeff

Check_Your_Premises

Well I said it was up to the 12year old. She has totally bought into all this crap. The advice I have gotten repeatedly on this board is do not oppose. Just set a good example, and leave the options to them. Invariably the kids leave on their own.

I have a feelign the 12 year old will want to, since she doesn't have a great relationship wiht her mother, and this study person is always taking an interest in the younger ones. Like I said though, total beee-otch. I think I could get some goof mileage out of her.

CYP

kls

I have to agree with Kid -A . There is no way in hell i would let it happen but that is me . My jw husband was starting to preach his jw crap to our 22 yr old and son and i warned my husband that if he ever did it again ,he better sleep with his eyes open.He knows i mean it.

daystar

"So, what do you think about me given the fact that I chose to not be a witness at this time?"

I think this line of thought might be good for your daughter to hear the responses to. What would she think about this JW's real opinions about you?

kid-A

As head of house, I sit in on any study conducted here, and add my opinions and religious ideas as I see fit.

Yes, this is the perfect solution. It shows you are willing to compromise, but at the same time, you can monitor the discussion and expose your child to alternative ideas and objections to the JW propaganda. Not to mention, you would probably have a hell of a lot of fun making life miserable for this JW drone !!! LOL

Crumpet

CYP my fave husband on the planet! well firstly I totally expected this from the moment you told us your circumstances on this board some months back.

Be consistent. Saying no will only make the study seem more attractive to your adoptive daughter. And I am assuming she wants to do it doesn't she? or at least she thinks she does. the more she gets to rebel against you with the approval of her mother the more she will. Somehow you have to keep negotiating things so that you are the least opposing husband and father ever.

Then I was thinking of telling her that I would appreciate that she NOT talk about me or my relationship with my daughter, or in anyway run down my religious choices.

You know as well as i do they will get round this by simply using a figuartive example to represent you instead of mentioning you specifically. I think you have little choice but to agree and do it with a measure of enthusiasm. Anything you seem in favour of she is more likely to tire of especially as she enters her teens. So I would opt for this approach, but I would keep a diary or little letters to her that you can give her when she is an adult so that you can explain your real feelings when hopefully she breaks free or changesher mind.

Love hearing all your updates CYP and I really like trying to help. Although admittedly it is hard - I base my suggestions on how i was at that age and of course I was brought up as a JW.

blondie

Why isn't your wife studying with her own daughter? The Bible in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 doesn't farm it out to another adult. The father and mother have the responsibility. I know some JWs do this, but I never saw it officially approved but actually criticized.

Sometimes the excuse is that a single mother wants her son to have a male role model, but her mother should be capable of providing a female role model for your daughter.

***

w00 6/1 p. 19 ‘Save Yourself and Those Who Listen to You’ ***

19. Why is it best that parents themselves study with their children?

Some parents may feel inadequate when it comes to studying with their own children. However, you need not feel this way, for no one is in a better position to instruct your children than you are. (Ephesians 6:4) Studying with your own children will allow you to know firsthand what is in their hearts and minds. Are their expressions heartfelt or perfunctory? Do they really believe what they are learning? Is Jehovah real to them? You can find the answers to these and other vital questions only if you personally study with your children.—2 Timothy 1:5.

***

w98 6/1 p. 22 Shouldering Responsibility for Family Care ***

Christian elders are to "shepherd the flock of God." (1 Peter 5:2, 3) Periodic visits to the families in their congregations offer them opportunities to commend parents who shoulder their Christian responsibilities. On whose shoulders does the responsibility for teaching the children of single parents lie? Never forget that the responsibility for instructing the children rests with the parent.

blondie

jw husband was starting to preach his jw crap to our 22 yr old and son and i warned my husband that if he ever did it again ,he better sleep with his eyes open.He knows i mean it.

Wife wants my 12 year old to have her own study. Strategy?

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