Wife wants my 12 year old to have her own study. Strategy? (page 3)

Check_Your_Premises

This sisteris always inviting the girls in the cong over for sleepovers and stuff.

I hate to say it, but she isn't married. When I wrote this I got a funny kind of "oh" type feeling. You don't think....

CYP

I haven't followed your advice? Well most of the stuff you mentioned was in my head. I just know if I forbid and all, it will be counterproductive. I am the head (it always makes me feel stupid or phallic when I say that). My wife came to me and asked if it was ok. I told her that it was up to the 12 year old. I do plan on talking with her about it, asking her if it is what she wants, letting her come to me if she wants to quit. I want to know what they plan to study. I want to know for how long. She is not allowed to be baptized until she is 18. God's son waited until he was 33. Hard to refute that one.

One way I have been really lacking is in not clearly stating everytime some dub thing is stated as fact that I don't agree it is true. I guess I didn't because I knew I couldn't go to the mat to refute it. ON the other hand, I think it is adequate to say, "I am not convinced of that" I am going to start doign that. On the stuff I can refute, I will say, "I don't agree with that". Then when they come at me with the dub talking points I will insist that we only discuss the matter in acontext of an object methodology for seeking truth. That will make em squirm.

I did go through with all of them and explain my method for finding truth. It included all sorts of things like facts, and coming up with likely explanations based on those facts. I made it a game. They all had fun being me.

But even if I don't listen to you, please keep em coming. It all sounds like good advice!

Odrade

I would be surprised if the sister has nefarious motives for her sleepovers. Remember how stunted socially a JW can become. If she is unmarried, she is doubly isolated, especially if she is not beautiful. I suspect she is not much older emotionally and psychologically than the preteens and teens she's inviting for sleepover.
Even if she is relatively mature, she probably is thinking of the good deed she is doing by having these girls do something fun that "keeps them safe from the world." Just as you try to concentrate on exposing your kid to good activities outside the JWs, they try very hard to make things fun for them INSIDE, so they don't have to look elsewhere for friends and fun.

gcc2k

Here is how I feel about it.

The purpose of study is to lead to baptism. Baptism as a JW means accepting the JW teachings, including the blood issue. To me, that is a legal contract, which a minor cannot sign until the age of 18 (I think, I'm not a lawyer).

So, I don't intend to allow my son to have a study or be baptized until he is 18. At that point, if this is what he chooses, it's up to him.

carla

Could you ask to sit in? and start with 1914/1918/1919 ? or 586/607? You are probably better versed in those areas than the so called 'sister'. Or start with why are they the fds? Study the pharisees and how they compare with today's religions including the wt? just a thought. I personally wouldn't let a jw near my kids, and at this point they don't want to go near them either! They are aware of the many unloving stories, news articles, abuse and the behavior of their own jw parent.

Check_Your_Premises

One other thing. I love you guys. You always tell me what these clowns are going to do, and you are always right!

The jw world is built on a lack of good info. If it wasn't for lack of good info out there, the whole damn org would fold like a house of cards.

The guy who gets the knock on the door doesn't know how to get rid of them.

The guy whose wife just started studying doesn't know what to do, or if he should worry.

The mother who hasn't spoken to her son in years since he joined, and wonders if there is a way to help him wake up.

The jw who was raised in it and wonders if others have questions like they do.

The jw who wants to leave, but doesn't know how because his family will quit talking to him.

All these people are victims of the basic lack of info that the org enjoys! But not me! I have you folks. Thank you soooooooooo much! I would be lost, divorced, or maybe even in jail on murder charges without you!

CYP

twolips

CYP

You mentioned her teenage years bringing change... They can . But from what I have seen from my kids and their friends, when they start doing the so called wrong things and they are still believers , they are heaped with guilt. This can really mess with their heads. Maybe feeling, well I have made Jehovah mad so I am doomed , so I might as well do what ever. A real careless or self distructive mind set.

I let my children be exposed thinking when they grow up they can make their own choice. I regret this. They are haunted inactive believers.

rebel8

As a kid with an "unbelieving" father who was forced to have a study of my own, I seriously hope you are able to find a way to veto the study entirely. The less brainwashing time, the shorter the therapy sessions when she reaches adulthood. :)

Check_Your_Premises

Apparantly the rationale behind the study is for this sister to go through the Young People Ask book with her. I am not so hesitant for that, although I am not so hot for her to get the "no sports if you love God" guilt trip again. She is almost on the brink of going out for volley ball. I actually think that is why my wife is expressing this new interest in upping the indoc. She knows the teenage years will be a battle with a non-prototypical ubm father telling her she can do what she wants in regards to athletics and keeping non-jw friends who are otherwise decent.

I may insist on being present just to minimize the indoc effect.

CYP

carla

I vote for volleyball! They work those kids pretty hard. Lots of practice and games. It isn't a long season and most of the kids tend to be pretty good kids, I think. Exposing her to a group of girls that work as a team would be a wonderful experience.

Wife wants my 12 year old to have her own study. Strategy?

Share this