Meetings are dragging me down. It sucks because I still live at home and have no choice but it has gotten to the point where I have left early at times just because I cannot stand to hear all the B.S from the platform.
How do I just keep doing what I have to do till I know I can leave? Its really starting to wear on me.
Plus, I just found out an old classmate of mine died last year in a motorcylce accident. I mean I knew the girl but its not like we hung out on weekends or anything. Its just its really starting to hit me that I am getting old. Life is moving and if I don't keep up I'm just gonna get left behind.People keep saying its ok to not have all the ansewrs now but I can't deal with it. I am scared out of my mind of the future. And death- my goodness; I can't even grasp death. I don't want to think about it, don't wanna hear about. It scares me out of my mind.
Religion has always been there to give me all the satisfying ansewrs. But now that I know it can't be trusted whose gonna ansewr my questions? I don't know what's real anymore. I am constantly screaming out to God but I dunno.. is he even listening?