My Friend's JW Brother Died-------- To Go To KH Funeral Or Not??? (page 2)

vitty

If your fading, dont go

As you said he wasnt your friend, it would be different if it was............go for a meal with your friend in honor of his brother.

fullofdoubtnow

I personally wouldn't go, I'd try to see my friend elsewhere to pay my respects.

If you do go, is it possible just to slip in as the service is about to start, and slip out at the end of it, before the elders have a chance to corner you?

wannaexit

I think that you should go. Your friend will appreciate it and you will feel good too.

wanna

Hi Min,
If your objective is to show respect:
"If I go to the service it is only to show respect to my friend and the relatives"
You may be able to think up other ways to show that respect to your friend and the relatives, without going to the Kingdom Hall. I might just ask them what their wishes are. "Is there a way I can show my respect to you without going to a Kingdom Hall?" If they say no, then to be loyal to your objective, you will most likely need to go to the Kingdom Hall.

garybuss

The problem with going to a Kingdom Hall to show respect to a living person is this. What about the next living person who asks you to go to a Kingdom Hall to show your respect to them? You HAVE met a challenge, decided on a principle, (Showing respect = going to Kingdom Hall) and established a precedent (Go when asked).
The only way you will be able NOT to go to the Kingdom Hall the next time, is to defeat your own reasoning and decision made on this issue at this time.

:-)

startingover

I just faced roughly the same situation you have here. I went and I'm glad I did. I stuck out with my the hair on my face, but I wasn't treated badly by any of the several hundred people, many of whom I know well.

I can tell you this, after hearing the talk, it will make you so happy you are not a part of that anymore. I caught myself smerking a couple of times when I heard the words "guaranted" and "certainty" flowing freely when talking about the resurrection.

AuldSoul

I would suggest going. With this script ready for brothers who would try to corner you:

"I am here out of respect for a dead person. Do you choose this opportunity to question me? I can easily imagine Pharisees doing this, but can you imagine Jesus doing this? Now, if you have questions you would like to ask me, I suggest you write them down on paper. If you don't want me to have a written record of your questions I have to assume that is so you cannot be held accountable. Since we seem to have similar objectives, can I please be free to show empathy for a friend's loss today and play spiritual politics with you another time?"

Just a suggestion. I am sorry for your friend's loss. It is a shame such things as what you are considering even have to be considered.

AuldSoul

Lady Lee

Min

I would talk to my friend and let him know that I would like to be there for him. But I don't want to detract from the gathering either. Ask him if he thinks having you there is worth any issues that might arise. Let him know you realize this is for HIM that you would go but you also know some others might cause a disruption.

Let him decide.

Then I liked I think it was Blondie's suggestion of a picture and a rememberance as well as an opportunity for you to meet with him later.

You know as well as I do that the talk will be a WT promo session with no opportunity to really grieve.

HappyDad

Min,

If you are still in so-called "good standing" then the elders that know you will definitely try to talk to you.

If you are not prepared for that then use one of the alternatives suggested by some of the other posters.

Faders have to be very careful with the still in's.

HappyDad

mouthy

My daughter-in-law passed away last week from cancer. ( Top Hat reply

Top Hat my deepest sympathy to you. Glad you have good thoughts of her (((HUG))

My Friend's JW Brother Died-------- To Go To KH Funeral Or Not???

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