My turn:
1. How did your mixed marriage happen?
a) Committed to each other knowing the other had different beliefs.
We met through a dating service. He was inactive when we met. I think it was my own spirituality that prompted him to reactivate his own faith.
2. Did the two of you talk about your different beliefs and how you were raised before you committed to the other?
When we married a few years later, I was fully aware of our different beliefs and the impact on our lives. I consoled myself that at least my folly was my own. My children are grown, and I am past childbearing. He is not the stereotyped dominant JW male. We also had discussed what would happen if either of us needed a blood transfusion. We both vowed to respect each other's beliefs (With varying compliance. We were both confident that our own faith was the strongest)
3. How many times a month or week (whatever is easier to describe) does spiritual subjects come up in your home?
Probably twice a day! A news item will prompt my hubby to say something about "the condition of the world." I guess we both communicate a lot.
4. How do you relate/interact with other witnesses or congregation members?
Quietly, sullenly. I am not interested in conversion, a book study, or telling them that "wasn't that talk lovely?" Our former congregation had written us off as "bad association." I feel constrained from being myself, for fear of saying something that will get my hubby in a LOT of trouble. So I am, uncharacteristically, the wallflower.
5. Do you talk to non-JW family about your JW spouse?
Yes, in general terms. They are more careful than I am not to offend, so they want to know what is appropriate at the various seasons. The little I do say about the constraints on JW behavior has put a bad taste in their mouth for ALL religion, really.
6. Are you an "opposing mate"?
If you can call our lighthearted banter "opposing", I guess. But one of the reasons he married me is that he loves lightearted banter. If he doesn't have something to argue about, he's an unhappy man.
And maybe my quiet and persistent campaign to show my husband that there are genuine Christians outside of the Kingdom Hall might get me labelled an "opposer".
But on the surface I support all my husband's spiritual ambitions. I cheer along with the Kingdom Hall when he struggles bravely through his first speaking part. Hey, if it's important to him, it is to me too, right?
7. If you are a Christian, what are the most contentious subjects with your JW spouse?
HE has a big problem with the Trinity. I HAVE a big problem with the Faithful and Discreet Slave.
9. When/how/what made you realize your marriage/family was threatened by your spouse's JW affiliation?
Christmas and other family gatherings. The stress of trying to maintain aloof over the holidays pushed my husband over the edge two years ago. He blew up all over my family. We also had a serious tiff at my stepmother's funeral. I'd threatened him with bodily harm if he tried to be a "good witness". His assignment was to keep his mouth shut and support me. He got three words of a canned presentation out of his mouth and I bodily shoved him out of the viewing room. He completely lost it, having never expected ME to get physical with HIM. I've barely forgiven him, and I wonder if I can trust him to be warm and inclusive with my family.
10. My favorite question, anything else to add?
I am grateful to all of you for your contribution. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
