Doubts

lazuli

I'm an 18 year old girl, I started studying with the JWs 9 months ago. I was dating a guy that was a JW and I chose that I also wanted to study. We were together for 2 years and broke up four months ago. This breakup was very very devastating for me and I am still not well, we had marriage plans and we never had sex but we were very intimate, I just dont understand how he could stop loving me, since being a jw i was sure that we would be together forever. After we broke I stopped going to the meetings for about a month but I continued getting my study. Then I started to go to the same congregation that we would go together, and well he goes there too. I recently told my mother that I was studying and she completely opposes it, she's very determined to stopping me from going to the meetings. It's not that I'm having doubts about the truth its just that I feel like I'm letting my family down by doing this, since they are all agaunst the JWs. I also feel very lonely because I have no one to turn to. I've also thought about chaning my kingdom hall because it doesn't do me any good to se my ex there, because it hurts me more than I even know. If anyone has any advice please help, I feel incredibly depressed by this and i don't know what to do.

Golf

lazuli, your young and you have a head on your shoulder. Let me begin by saying, enjoy your youth, life is a long journey, don't stifle it at a young age. You have the future ahead of you make the most of it.

Its' obvious that your still emotionally attached to him and that's to be expected. I'm going to let the females on this forum give you the encouraging thoughts you need. Just be patient, take a deep breath and relax.

Golf

Oroborus21

Hi Lazuli,

Do you know the song "the Middle"? Hang in there, things will get better. Most of us have been through something like you are going through. It is hard but after a while you will see that things will be OK. If you can make some friends that would be very helpful.

best wishes,

Eduardo

Spectrum

Lazuli,
"I feel incredibly depressed by this and i don't know what to do"
We've all been there Lazuli. The most important thing is for this not to make you cynical and bitter at your young age. You've got to put it behind you and continue a happy churpy life. These are the best years of your life spend them with friends going out having fun. Soon you'll realize that this person ending it did you the biggest favour of your life and that's no exaggeration.
The girl I wanted to marry from the KH eventually married some rich JW. I was 18 like you, and planned to marry her at 21. She was a pretty and smiley girl and I thought i'd never meet another one like her. I can't tell you how releaved I am now that nothing happened between us. I left the JWs(not because of her) went to college late and Uni and had the time of my life. I met prettier, funnier, more intelligent and very importantly more interesting girls at college.
Unlike what the JWs will tell you I found decent friends out there who are now my closet friends and have been that way for the last 18 years.
My sister took the root you almost took with this guy, I don't know about you but she gave up on a brilliant place at Uni to marry what became her nemesis. She has been unhappy ever since but is stuck because of children. She came crying to me many times talking about divorce.

Lazuli you don't know how lucky you are.

Van Gogh

Welcome to the board lazuli!

My advice? Religion and love can be a poisonous concoction.

Doubting both, however, can be very revealing - very liberating.

Emancipate yourself...Get an education... Investigate your man and your church.

Operate from an independant mindset - then take crucial life-altering decisions like committing to baptism or marriage.

Read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. It'll take your mind of your sorrows - for a long time to come.

ballistic

Hi lazuli, most of us here are here because we had doubts whether it was the "truth" - I would say you had a close shave with a cult, stick around and read some peoples stories, you may find it a lot of help.

Check_Your_Premises

Hey Lazuli!

I am glad you came here for someone to talk to. I can tell you in my experiences, I don't know what I would have done without this outlet.

So did you get baptized?

Why are your folks so against the idea of you studying with the JW? Have you ever known your folks to not protect you or not look out for your best interests? Probably not. Maybe they have some reasons for being concerned. It doesn't mean they are right. But they might be legitimate concerns.

Maybe you could tell them about this site. That way they could come here and find out more about the JW.

CYP

Legolas

Welcome to the board!

RUN for your life AWAY from the witnesses it you want a happy life!

ColdRedRain

When you're in love with somebody who's in love with the concept of god, they're never really in love with you. They put the concept first and everything else comes afterwards. My advice to you is find yourself a nice Pagan or Secular Humanist man, one that won't put invisible creatures and organizations claiming to be with them in front of you.

BTW, your boyfriend's a douche and he's proof why Witlesses aren't Christian.

Mysterious

I would closely examine what moves you to make statements such as "i know it's the truth". How do you know it's the truth? Is it because someone told you it was the truth and then tried to prove it? Or did you come to this conclusion on your own. The witnesses are very good at being convincing people and many are genuine about what they believe. They are not out to deceive you but they have been deceived by themselves. This religion can be extremly harmful to family, friends and relationships. I think you need to take a hard look at what they are really all about before you decide to devote your life in a way you can NEVER take back. That's right once you are baptized there is no good way to remove them from your life ever again.

Remember, if something is the TRUTH then it will stand up to any scrutiny. So do read a lot more about it. You cannot research something so important from inside itself, you must consider other viewpoints.

Doubts

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