A couple of years ago there was an article on TV discussing the possible negative effects that that fairy tales can have on children especially girls.
I don't remember it very well but basically they were saying that fairy tales, especially the ones that involve beautiful girls or princesses, put unnecessary pressure on little girls from a very young age to have to look pretty if they are going to get their prince charming or do well in general in real life.
It makes sense because it seems to fall under the category of conditioning and it's easy to condition children.
If this is true then the continued use of these "benign" tales should be reconsidered.
What do you all think?
Any child psychologist here that can shed expert light to this?
Fairy tales - unsuspected effects on children?
by Spectrum 33 Replies latest social relationships
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Spectrum
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jeanniebeanz
<<===== *Traumatized by Barbie as a child*
Fairy tales got nothing on the doll industry.
J
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metatron
I recommend you read a copy of Bruno Bettleheim's "the Uses of Enchantment" - in which he psychoanalyzes fairy tales.
Most are almost obvious, like stories about giants, for example ( kids living amidst adults)
metatron
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Spectrum
"Most are almost obvious,"
Obvious about what? -
skyman
Ken doll with his tiny mucles traumatized me. Because he was so wimpy looking, I know that if that is what girls liked then me body with all the rippling mucles would turn them off.
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skyman
This reminds me of a news article that run on the local new about a field trip to a local ranch and the rancher let the childern pet and hug the calves and baby pigs. After the field trip the news man asked the kids who many what to go too McDonalds on the way home he asked for a show of hands, the kids got so excited they were jumping up and down all had their hands up in the air. Yet I'll bet you they would of been traumatized if you reminded them what they were eating. NOPE because the news man told youknow that the animals yuo just seen are going to big lunch some day then asked how many now what to go. All raised their hands and jumped up and down.
Put things into persective everytime I do something someone could be traumatized by my actions.
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Terry
Maybe I can be accused of black and white thinking, but, here is my view on this subject.
Children's brains are thirsty for DATA which makes their stay on a real planet more hospitable for them; i.e. skillsets. Children will eventually find themselves out of a caretaker's graces and on their own. What skills will they possess to negotiate with reality and create a life that avoids obstacles?
The WORLDVIEW of each person creates their database. If that database has false information the person is handicapped. Dealing with real life in terms of fantasy expectations/values sets us up to fall or fail regularly.
Any of us/all of us can IMAGINE a different sort of existence than the one we have--but, our imagination does not entitle us to live within that dream bubble!
We have to be able to distinguish what is REAL from what is NOT real in order to avoid unfounded fear, misplaced expectations, false analogies and wrong-headed thinking which cripple our ability to perform ordinary operations that will advance our life toward successful and meaningful results.
PARENTS (through indoctrinations from their own parents and society) heap huge amounts of false information upon a child's mind which can inhibit and confuse rational thinking.
Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, fairies, talking animals, mythology, invisible friends, ghosts, etc. are false information PRESENTED AS FACTUAL.
This is garbage in-garbage out (GIGO) in computer programming lingo.
Any of us who have crazy romantic notions of the ideal life and EXPECT our life to conform to those ideals will constantly be depressed and wrong-headed in the way we live and choose what we do.
Contrast this with KNOWING you can create an ideal goal and then setting out to be PRACTICAL about getting close to it by making real world decisions and choices.
Magic-thinking is comforting. It is thumbsucking at base level. But, thumbsucking won't earn you any achievements. Hand's on effort is the only objective activity that even places you in the running for a prize in a real life situation.
Millions of people carry around wacky notions that do them no good whatsoever.
Here are a few of my favorite nonsense beliefs:
1.EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
Wrong! This subtle untruth is conceptual misrepresentation of cause and effect AS THOUGH it were cosmic/mystical guidance by supernatural controlling forces. Things don't just happen. We create enviornments in which opportunity is seized or avoided. If we set our brain to "default" and let life wash over us we are the victims of other forces in motion which we MIGHT HAVE dealt with intelligently by knowledge and skill. Waiting on Armageddon is a case in point. JW's are taught to avoid real life as being "worldly" and to, instead, seek the fantasy world of Jehovah's Ark of Salvation. This "ark" is nothing more than busy-work promoting the propaganda of a few old men on self-righteous power trips. Real life just passes a JW by like a speeding car! By not developing the skills, knowledge and strategy to create a real life NOW; JW's end up with a hollow promise that never pays a single dividend. This happens for a reason: STUPIDITY.
2.NOTHING IS TRUE BUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS TRUE.
This dysfunctional nonsense is pure magic-thinking which substitute's imaginary belief for factual information. It takes many forms. People want to believe they can cure disease by "thinking". They want to believe that we "create" success by imagining it. (Real effort is not mentioned!) People imagine that whispering prayers to the blue sky will empower them by creating a link to a superpowerful deity. But, the end result is passive reliance on imagination is just lazy, effortless time-wasting indolence.
3.RELY ON GOD; DON'T TRUST YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING
Ha! What this really means is don't think for yourself long enough to detect that somebody pretending to represent a "higher power" is just telling you what to think and short-circuiting your own brainpower.
What has all of this got to do with fairytales?
Let me make this clear. IF parents present fairytales as being fiction and clearly help their child understand the difference between what is real and fiction--then, they can have a good conscience that they aren't undermining the intelligent decision-making ability of their children. But, if fairytales are presented in the same way as factual data---they are crippling the rational mind of their child.
Children who hide under the covers because of fear of what is in their closet are physically creating a false reality IN THEMSELVES that matches the false perception of their own active imagination. We cannot trust our own brain when the software is corrupted by a failure to distinguish fact from error.
People who defend the practice of lying to children under the phoney ploy of "giving them a beautiful childhood" are no different in their thinking than the parent who runs up huge credit card bills to create a feel-good enviornment for their family. THE BILLS COME DUE! You can't wish that away. So too with children's values and thinking. THE BILLS COME DUE.
How many young people only desire to live in a fantasy bubble when they turn 18? How many live in that imaginary world to the exclusion of all else? MILLIONS!
It starts with the failure to distinguish the facts from the fictions in infancy.
This is a pay as you go world. Or, as Dr.Phil says: "This is a kill and eat world".
Terry
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FlyingHighNow
Fairy tales. I believe they influence boys and girls alike.They condition a boy to think he can just easily fall in love (infatuation feels like love and it can last through an engagement), sweep a girl up onto his horse (his car) and ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. But the fairy tale doesn't tell him his princess will need him to pick up his clothes, take out the trash and blow the snow. The fairy tale doesn't tell him that his princess will have her own opinions and not necessarily hang on his every word.
I never thought about a fairy tale making girls think they should be beautiful. I never really worried about that. But it could be true and also for the boys, to make them think they are being cheated if their lady doesn't look like Cinderella.
My second husband was under a fairy tale delusion. It was my second marriage, so I knew it was going to involve challenges. Add to his fairy tale view of me and marriage the WTBTS dominance/submission pressures. It was a recipe for disaster.
Then for girls, a fairy tale could make them think a knight in shining armour is going to come and pick them up and carry them off and always be easy to get along with, treat his family well and provide a peaceful household. Fairy tales teach a little girl that her prince will always adore her, but they don't teach a way to figure out if he truly loves her in the first place and is not indeed infatuated by her.
Fairy tales need another chapter or two that show realistic life ever after. They lived happily ever after only because they treated each other with respect and realistic expectations.
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greendawn
I used to read fairy tales up to the age of 12 and immensely enjoyed them, and they certainly didn't do me any harm.
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LDH
Any of us who have crazy romantic notions of the ideal life and EXPECT our life to conform to those ideals will constantly be depressed and wrong-headed in the way we live and choose what we do.
Contrast this with KNOWING you can create an ideal goal and then setting out to be PRACTICAL about getting close to it by making real world decisions and choices.
Magic-thinking is comforting. It is thumbsucking at base level. But, thumbsucking won't earn you any achievements. Hand's on effort is the only objective activity that even places you in the running for a prize in a real life situation.
Terry I agree with you.
My 15 year old daughter loves Japanese animantion, Mangas, etc. A lot of them deal with very adult themes, a lot of them deal with fantasy.
She reminded me about two weeks ago that when she was 7 or so, I had a talk with her about separating reality from fantasy. At that time I told her if I saw or heard anything that caused me to believe she was confusing the two worlds, I would intervene.
She's the sweetest kid ever, and nowadays she sits down and plays Tom Clancy Splinter Cell and other Role Playing Games. She gets that the key word is "PLAYING GAMES."
But also she is a very highly disciplined musician in real life, and dedicates about 25-30 hours per week practicing and perfecting her music.
So far I'm lucky--I've been able to communicate how important it is to put in the hard work if you want the reward, it doesn't just happen by itself.
Lisa