Personally, I think that any kind of purposeful sustained deception of children is not really helpful to them at all. On the other hand, telling or reading fictional tales definitely does stimulate the imagination in a good way and develops the ability to become immersed in more complex fictional stories and experience diverse realities that open the mind to a life replete with options.
Terry- You make many good points, it is important to be familiar with the law of cause and effect and learn about the practicalities of everyday life. But I think one of the most important gifts a child can recieve from anybody is stimulation of their creative capacity, which is the same portion of the mind involved in imagination (thinking in images). In mainstream Western society, this is highly undervalued. It is especially consequential because the more you are able to envision and create your *own* future, the greater satisfaction you will find in life.
Aside from general sane considerations of practical importance, the less limiting beliefs we pass on to children, the better for them and the future of the world. Children should be taught to pursue what which THEY ENJOY doing, not to be content with living a life they don't want. The most successful, happy people enjoy their work. If you ingrain in a child that there is an unlimited world of possibilities open to them (even if you raise the child in poverty), that they are a loved and wonderful person and that they really can create a life they dream of, they will not ever have trouble paying the bills or finding true friends. Dreaming is one thing, having the confidence that you can make your dreams happen day by day is another.
Fairy tales - unsuspected effects on children?
by Spectrum 33 Replies latest social relationships
-
Sentient
-
Spectrum
Sentient,
Great post.
"If you ingrain in a child that there is an unlimited world of possibilities open to them (even if you raise the child in poverty), that they are a loved and wonderful person and that they really can create a life they dream of, "
If we do the above for children then they'll have the confidence of making their dreams come true. -
Terry
Aside from general sane considerations of practical importance, the less limiting beliefs we pass on to children, the better for them and the future of the world.
Teaching children HOW to think is so much better than telling them WHAT to think.
Real thinking will take them far..farther...farthest.
Wishful thinking will keep them in their bed imagining the trip.
T.
-
Terry
"If you ingrain in a child that there is an unlimited world of possibilities open to them (even if you raise the child in poverty), that they are a loved and wonderful person and that they really can create a life they dream of, "
If we do the above for children then they'll have the confidence of making their dreams come true.But...you can't leave out the HOW.
Knowing there is an "unlimited" array of possibilities is one thing...but! Figuring out HOW to seize and use these possibilities to one's own benefit is a far cry from simply knowing the possibility is there.
Skill is necessary.
How does one obtain skill?
That is the essential question that must be answered in a child's mind.
We are a culture that likes to wallow in the POTENTIAL and ignore the ACTUAL for some strange reason.
Obtaining a life of actual rewards requires hard work, knowledge, skill, competitiveness and cleverness. The actual is the reward. The potential is the dream of the reward.
T.
-
myelaine
dear Terry,
"Obtaining a life of actual rewards requires hard work, knowledge, skill, competitiveness and cleverness. The actual is the reward. The potential is the dream of the reward."
really, most people have "a dream" don't they?
me? I feel full of potential, really and actually!
love michelle
-
fairchild
Yes, I think that fairy tales have a profound influence on children. Although I am 43 now, I still remember a lot of the fairy tales. As a kid, I was practically addicted to them, and I remember how I often identified with some of the characters. But then, we need to understand that a LOT of things influence kids. So I don't think that one should reconsider the use of fairy tales.
-
myelaine
what I mean to say is what if some day out of the blue some youngster in your family comes to you with questions about God? Would you tell him/or her what you know about the Bible. Was your "time" real enough?you got burned by the WBTS, that's a given for a good portion of the people on this forum.
You seem to advocate skipping all the dreams and getting right to your IDEA of reality. Free of all fairies and princes and ogres and "Happily ever afters"
Why make life such a work wheel, really escape!
love michelle p.s. Welcome back, please entertain us again...lol
-
Spectrum
Terry,
It seems that you want to train young children like you would an apprentise in a capenters shop. That's no fun.
Are you suggesting a regimented methodical upbring? If you can't get a child to smile and laugh you've failed as a parent. Michael Jackson comes to mind. His dad was all about logic and now he can't get away fom fantasy.
I think we need to strick a balance. -
Terry
Terry,
Are you suggesting a regimented methodical upbring? If you can't get a child to smile and laugh you've failed as a parent. Michael Jackson comes to mind. His dad was all about logic and now he can't get away fom fantasy.
I think we need to strick a balance.Where do you come up with this stuff?
We are contrasting the way parents expose their children to thinking habits with a view to the child developing thinking skills. Thinking skill requires being able to evaluate between one thing and another. Clarity of thought requires accuracy in determining what elements are genuine and which are not.
That is all I'm saying.
Don't feed your children wax fruit.
You can have all the fun in the world with a clear head and a keen eye.
You don't subscribe to the notion IGNORANCE IS BLISS do you? Of course not.
We aren't reccomending boot camp; just a sense of what mind tools are necessary for anybody (child or not) to succeed in life.
The daydreamers may be happy enough until real life impacts on them in a way requiring a decision based on reality.
People who cannot distinguish fantasy from reality are handicapped by reliance on HOPE, LUCK, PRAYER, FATE, etc.
Why give your kid a set of tools that will break when he uses them???
Happiness is not antithetical to accuracy of perception.
Terry
-
Sentient
Terry-
You have me more interested now with your persistence...HOW, exactly, do you believe that children should be taught to think? What is the reality that you see? Many of us here have seen the positive results that can come from rejecting "reality" as it is presened to you.
I agree that every tool that is useful must be useful in the practical application of the thing, not just in theory or in dreams. The only thing I would be against is placing limiting ideas in the minds of children as if our view of the world or what we have understood or accomplished is something they cannot exceed and grow beyond in their own lives.
If one "reality" seems to be true for 99% of people, but is not true for the other 1%, how do we explain that 1%? Sometimes we don't want to see what else it possible because it threatens the comfort zone of our own accepted world.
The one with a moderate dream will never realize a big dream. The one who dreams only will never realize any dreams. The one who dreams a dream and keeps that vision in mind as he performs each task of activity and learning from day to day will succeed.