Some Witnesses take . . . sanity vacations . . . trips, they visit but they don't stay. Some go to Vegas once a year on "business". Some get pie eyed drunk, some sneak into a pair of blue jeans and look in the attic mirror, some visit shunned relatives.
The "trips" become a part of their imaginary world. It's all a part of their upside down world. They imagine spooks watch them in bed, they think God owns a book print shop, they live life as an application for a world that will never be, they love haters, they hate lovers, they preach to babies, they have illusions of relationships that don't exist, and they think we're crazy.
New light re: talking to DF'd persons
by caryl 31 Replies latest jw friends
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garybuss
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caryl
Acutally, my mother has been the JW all my life. My father was never interested. He was the breadwinner, mom was the spiritual head. But, once I was DF'd, my father just sort of stopped calling and seeing me because that's what mom did. (sick, huh?) So now, dad is retired, bored or whatever and he decides he has SEEN THE LIGHT and is going to be a witness. HE called me on the phone one night to invite me to his BAPTISM!!!!!!!! He used the words, that it was an 'important occasion' and he wanted me to be there. NEVER have I stood up to or talked back to my father. I couldn't help it this time! I said, 'This is important to you? What about what was important to (I named various things that were important to my children and myself)............' I ended by saying that I couldn't carry on this conversation because it was making me ill. I hung up. He hasn't called again.
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BluesBrother
I am sure this is the current policy on family that are d/f. Perhaps after 22 years caryl's relatives decided that it need not matter, perhaps they have a liberal elder who said it woud be ok, but if they followed policy, they would not come visiting..***
km 8/02 p. 4 Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative Is Disfellowshipped ***9
Relatives Not in the Household: "The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home," states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. "It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum," in harmony with the divine injunction to "quit mixing in company with anyone" who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum.—See also The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 29-30
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steve2
Welcome Caryl:
Good question. I have wondered from time to time whether the JWs are "lightening up" in the shunning policy but I don't think it's related to any official new light (pun intended). I think it is human nature to regress, to stray away from extremes of behaviour towards more middling stuff - just a theory.
I've had two separate experiences with JWs in past year in which each spontaneously approached me and said "Hi". The more recent one involved one of my old JW pioneer friends from the 1970s. I had not seen him for over twenty years and he walked up to me in a big shopping mall complex as I was having a coffee and a read of the newspaper. He was a little tentative in manner but friendly: He asked how I was, said I looked "great", said that he had seen me in the distance on a couple of earlier occasions (I had not seen him), wished me well and went on his way. I have no idea what his current life situation is nor did I inquire because I have long since resolved my need to reach out to the JWs.
Anyway, this was a very pleasant experience. I doubt it augurs a policy change. I think it's just human to back away from extremes from time to time. Besides, there's bound to be alot of doubt among JWs - especially given the ongoing absence of the end of the system!
One thing's for sure: Whether the witnesses - including my family members - decide to approach and talk to me is their choice. I will agree that it would be desirable for that to happen but I won't be "hanging out" for it - or becoming upset when it doesn't happen. Been there done that!
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Bumble Bee
Some people make up their own minds about the shunning. When my brother was DF'd my parents didn't shun him, but they've shunned other people. Go figure. It depends on what they want out of the relationship. If your parents are getting older, maybe they are slowly trying to re-establish the relationship so you can help to take care of them, they know that the "loving" brothers and sisters won't be there for them.
I'm being shunned right now and I'm not even DF'd! They've just decided they don't want to have anything to do with me if I don't go to the meetings. It's actually a relief right now because my mother is always calling for help with something, and always asking to "borrow" money. Well, it will be interesting to see how long she will continue with this, maybe until she's broke again, which is every month!
BB
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Mary
If you heard the manner they speak you would think we are so close and talk all the time, when we are in fact now total strangers!!! What is it?
Maybe they realize how crazy it was to have to cut off their own flesh and blood for no good reason. Because believe me, the Kings and Priests down at Bethel have tightened their grip on how to treat family members that are DF'd------they haven't loosened them. The "present truth" or "present understanding" is that if a family member is DF'd and they don't live with you, you're not suppose to have contact with them unless it's a family emergency or some such crap. I think that's great that they're calling you.........I hope it keeps up!!
caryl said: Your dad sent a letter and is waiting for an answer? ha. I have been waiting for a reply to a letter I sent in 1985.....................and waiting and waiting..........
Ya, but caryl, don't you know that one day with us is like a thousand at Bethel? -
moshe
Looks like to me that some Witnesses are coming to realize the "End" is not coming anytime soon- so what's the point in shunning a relative anymore? The WT leadership is starting to lose absolute control over it's membership, I believe. peace, Moshe
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mouthy
Ya, but caryl, don't you know that one day with us is like a thousand at Bethel?
Well, thanks for that Mary I had forgotten!!!! I wrote to Brooklyn in 1987... I didnt get an answer either .How many more years have I to wait???? Sorry I am not good at math!!! That is why I got kicked out couldnt see the 1914 thing & work out the the 607 thing.. DAH!!!! -
Beck_Melbourne
I'm pretty sure that if there were 'new light' on the subject we would all know about it.
I think most JW's nowadays are somehow related to someone who has been DF'd or DA'd. I know quite a lot of so-called 'staunch' JW's who now have DF'd teens or grown kids, including elders, PO's, CO's etc. The reactions to the DF'd ones vary. Some still visit their DF'd relatives regularly, babysit their grandchildren etc and are totally involved. Other's completely shun them and constantly pray that they will one day return - they wait for this moment before they can enjoy contact once again. So sad.
~Beck~
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jwfacts
I think it has to do with the wording of the new announcement. It was changed for legal reasons, but is confusing many JWs.
Two friends were d/f for apostasy a few months ago and no one in the congregation knows if they really were or not.
I was d/f last night (which i will discuss in a new thread later). My mother in law doesnt even realise. She called saying it was announced i am no longer one of JW's and did not know that it meant i was d/f.
I am sure if too many people start talking to the d/f people there will be a few more articles written to stop them. You can be sure the WTS is very scared about legal ramifications and will be extremely careful as to how they word future Watchtowers about those no longer JW's.