If there was any change, I would be one of the first to know. My father has sent a letter to Bethel to inquire about his being supposed to talk to me. (I DAd but I'm very close to the family so much that it would qualify as close family circle...) I would make quite a rant about it if they changed that too. Not that I wouldn't be happy, but I would be sure to let him realise how many people's lives this has ruined. It's been two months and he's still waiting. I hope this shows him how much Bethel cares for rank and files. (Very busy, they say. Probably busy firing old-timers.)
New light re: talking to DF'd persons
by caryl 31 Replies latest jw friends
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caryl
Your dad sent a letter and is waiting for an answer? ha. I have been waiting for a reply to a letter I sent in 1985.....................and waiting and waiting..........
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mustang
With all the other comments already made in consideration, it is my recollection that sometime in the late 80's (I really have no ready reference, but I recall someone posting about this recently) the WTS mentioned what might be a lightening of the requirements: NECESSARY FAMILY BUSINESS.
Several have noted that there is NO SIGNIFICANT CHANGE; but, as we know about the very strongly "set in their ways" mentality of the local JW/R&F ("rank and file" soldier-drones) it takes a long time for things to change or "soak-in".
You may be seeing that effect: some have now enlarged the scope of their NECESSARY FAMILY BUSINESS and actually are finally listening to the WTS directive, rather than keeping the knee-jerk reactions to older and harsher directives.
[You can note the same effect with those who refuse ANY blood fractions, while a list in print allows exceptions.]
Between the WTS itself and the attitudes of the ranks and the misdirection/misinformation interpretive effects, the JW thing as a whole has an unpredictable life of its own.
But even so, I believe that the NECESSARY FAMILY BUSINESS directive specifically proscribed any discussion of spiritual matters :) or :(, depending...
Mustang
PS: welcome to the board!!! -
Lilycurly
Yeah...it's pathetic. He asked the elders and they are divided. So he wrote a big fat letter, detailing our relationship. I'll let him know about your 20 years long wait.lol
Somehow, I don't think going to the movies can be considered " NECESSARY FAMILY BUSINESS".lol And I sure as heck will not abstain from letting little spiritualy-related notes on his desk.
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littlerockguy
However, it seems like there must be a new light or something because over the last 5 years they do call once or twice a year about nothing in particular.
Do you have any other siblings? Are they in the organization? Perhaps they are thinking they may need to keep some level of contact with you if they are elderly and may need your help sometime in the future in taking care of them since they WTS wont.
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IMustBreakAway
Well they stopped saying that so-so was dissfellowshipped or dissaso... they say that they "are not one of JW anymore." I thought that had to do with lawsuits though. Speaking of which has anyone ever sued and won against the society for defamation of character? Or for isolating a d'fd from their family?
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kid-A
even if they made an official policy change I doubt it would make much difference. JWs are so conditioned to avoid any contact with DFd people and are so repulsed by them (regardless of how close a relative is or how close they used to be) I think there would simply be an "unwritten" rule for shunning practiced by the borg, even if they officially removed the shunning plank from their platform.
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stillajwexelder
Welcome - in the early 1990s and there is a reminder in each years Kingdom Ministry - elders are to call on DF ones to see if they are interested in coming back to the fold
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caryl
I have 2 siblings, one still a JW. The other, my sister, THANKFULLY left also. So, yipppeee, I have one family member and we have the absolute BEST relationship. I have long thought that if and when my parents get to a place in health and age that they need help, they better have lots of insurance or money stashed because this cast out daughter is not going to suddenly become USED! My sister that is still a JW will be holding the bag...........unless their 'spiritual family' steps in. LOL!!!
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willyloman
There's no new light, but 20 years is a long time and your folks finally figured out that you're not coming back to dubville. Knowing that, they weighed their options and decided to open the door a bit and maintain a relationship with their offspring. The irony is, one or two phone calls a year amounts to "a relationship" in dubspeak. That's how powerful a hold the WTS has on its subjects.