I am 71 years old.......... out of the JW world for 48 years with my lovely wife. Our son and grandchildren live a mile away and we see them multiple times a week. No one in my family is a surviving witness except a niece. She was born 7 years after my wife and I faded from the 'truth', it was a slightly different truth back then by the way.........and she shuns us......so go figure.
What you probably experienced back then is 'transcendence'........ which is described as an existence or experience beyond the normal or physical level. It can be triggered by drugs, music, poetry, a sublime landscape, smells, food, great wine etc. In my case I can experience a mild transcendence when standing in a wonderful trout stream shaking a stick (fishing pole). I practice catch and release........ killing a fish kills the buzz of 'all's right with the world'.
Considering that our bodies are made up of atoms that came from the stars I am surprised it doesn't happen more often.
It sounds to me that you have had to work through a lot in your short life time. It sounds like you are smart enough to realize you probably could use a bit of therapy and that you have 'need's' mostly people in your life who will love you and accept you. You can't run to people for that love.........you have to lead people to you by caring about them.
That's what I have learned in my 71 years.
God? Who knows what's out in the universe. I am not going to say if a god exists or not. I will say that it seems that god's natural language is silence and everything else has been a bad translation.