Welcome Willow Tree.
I felt like you did for 10 years as a pretend JW. But I actually now am prepared to believe in God and appreciate him. What I have found comparing the commonality of religion is that there is spirituality and there is intelligence in life. Maybe Buddha was closer to the reality, that we can not be definite about who God is, so more important is to appreciate each moment of life.
I personally like the religious viewpoint of the Eastern religions, that of Yin Yang. There is good and bad in everything and understanding that prepares us for the next life. I believe I am here to learn. I will go on to an afterlife, though am not sure what it will entail or really care. But I do know that the more I learn and the better i become as a person the better equipped i am to enjoy this life, and hopefully the next.