Help! My parents want to take my daughter to meetings!

by montana96 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Mercedes:

    Your daughter is eleven years old and obviously has an enquiring mind. Has she ever been allowed to look at this forum? Let her read some of the posts here on all aspects of JW dogma and how it has affected the lives of so many people. Let her see for herself the pain and misery it has caused.

    Then let her see how exiting for so many people has made them much happier She needs to know why you are so against the Org now. Coming here will let her see there are literally thousands who think the same as you. She really does need to see for herself how damaging the organisation is.

    Success to you!

    Ian

  • carla
    carla

    When you know all the heartbreak, emotional problems people have, spiritual difficulties, etc... from being in this cult, how could even be a question of her going? She is 11, she old enough to understand many issues within the org. If she goes to public school in the US she know about child abuse including sexual abuses (not intimate detail) but she knows things happen. She is old enough to understand what a lie is, explain how they lied about the UN. Show her how they have twisted the Bible. Misquoted people. The list of wrong doings and intellectual dishonesty is long. She is also old enough to understand what mind control is.

    If you don't want to show her the falseness of the org, get her into a church youth group, they do many fun things. Have her make brunch on Sunday's. There is a million way to keep her busy. My child is around your daughters age, when husband first started all this I kept it quiet. But when I even suspected he wanted to bring them I told the kids much about this org. I told them they could do their own research, they didn't have to believe anything I said. I had numerous books which they knew I had and could borrow any time. I don't leave them out in the house though. It would be over my dead body for my kids to ever step foot in a hall. If your parents can't keep out of how you raise your child they don't have to see her. Fade them out. Would you allow your parents to beat your child? of course not. Why would you allow them to spiritually and mentally abuse her?

  • blondie
    blondie

    Don't underestimate the power of the propaganda at the KH or that the goal of your parents is to make your daughter a baptized JW and supposedly save her from destruction at Armageddon. Many here have posted that they were 11 and under when they were pressured to get baptized. She is being manipulated by her emotions, her love for you and her love for her grandparents. Don't ever doubt that your parents will say negative things about you to her and encourage her to disobey and deceive you all for the "good cause" of "saving" you. There have been several posters here who said they underestimated the influence that JW grandparents would have, let them take them to the meetings and conventions, only to see their child get baptized and then shun them.

    Giving her a positive alternative like has been mentioned here sounds like a winner. Remember you are responsible for her welfare until she is 18 not her grandparents.

    Love, Blondie

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Hi Mercedes,

    You've been given a lot of excellent advice: program fun activities on Sunday, explain her why you don't believe it anymore, let her selectively access JWD or other xJW sites, make your stance clear to your parents.

    But inasmuch as she still wants to go once in a while I'm on the side of the "don't forbid". Forbidding makes the forbidden desirable and a JW meeting is not worth that.

  • Gill
    Gill

    Sorry for your predicament with your little girl, Montana!

    We all have to face our 'moment of truth' when it comes to the WTBTS and it's better that your little girl gets this over and done with NOW than have to deal with it in another twenty to thirty years time.

    I agree with Dansk. Sit her at the internet and start reading up on the WTBTS and Jehovah's Witnesses. Do it with sympathy. This is the moment she discovers there is no Santa Claus and we don't know tomorrow. She sounds like she feels insecure at times so she'll need lots of support but remind her that good things happen every day as well as bad. Every other child in the world has to learn that we all die and find a way to cope with that fact. She has to as well. But it's far better to know the truth of a matter than believe a terrible lie that could mar the rest of her life.

    I hope it goes well. Take it slowly.

    I still remember the day four years ago when I experienced my own moment of truth and discovered that the 'troof' was a lie! It was like a punch in the face after nearly 40 years of stupid, unquestioning belief. I wish someone had had the brains, guts, whatever to tell me the truth when I was eleven years old.

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    A parent's number one job is to prepare the child for life in THIS WORLD. Promote healthy living, don't model smoking or drinking alcohol, encourage and promote pragmatic plans for their future and highlighting the importance of education now and later. Jehovah's Witnesses systematically sabotage all of this while consciously building a wall between you and your child.
    I gave my Witness relatives access to my children and two of them joined the Witnesses and shunned me.
    I wouldn't let a practicing Witness within 100 miles of my children.
    Find a good post exit counselor and explain your child was raised in a cult. Get her counseling right now! Today!

  • NYCkid
    NYCkid

    Your dilemma is the sort of thing that gets me riled up. Mercedes. You are her parents and you need to put your foot down with your daughters grandparents. They MUST NOT interfere with your wishes. Your daughter can make up her mind when she's 18, until then, you have every right to keep her home from those awful meetings. Believe me, after a few weeks or months she won't even miss them and will forget about the doomsdaying rhetoric. If your daughter's grandparents cannot respect your wishes, then they can't see her without being in your presence. That's it.

    Best regards,

    NYCkid

  • NYCkid
    NYCkid

    Your dilemma is the sort of thing that gets me riled up. Mercedes. You are her parents and you need to put your foot down with your daughters grandparents. They MUST NOT interfere with your wishes. Your daughter can make up her mind when she's 18, until then, you have every right to keep her home from those awful meetings. Believe me, after a few weeks or months she won't even miss them and will forget about the doomsdaying rhetoric. If your daughter's grandparents cannot respect your wishes, then they can't see her without being in your presence. That's it.

    Best regards,

    NYCkid

  • IronClaw
    IronClaw

    Hi Mercedes, I am in the same boat as you are, only its my wife that takes my youngest daughter( 14 years old ) to all the meetings. Now shes talking about baptizm. I told her to look at the example of Jesus, how old was he when he got baptized? Im trying to show her how much of the Tower is based on Organization, like the Baptizm vows. I think I made some headway on this count. All good advise here, I am also trying to make special times with her. It can be dangerous, the elders are trying to turn my daughter against me on the grounds that I am an apostate now. Slowly show her how the WT has lied and show her the society's past. This I think is their achilles heal. Thats why they try so hard to cover it up. Just reason logically with her. My heart goes out to you. Just know that all of us here feel for you. We will always be here for you. Take care.

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    Mercedes-

    I agree with everything Narkissos brought out...my thoughts exactly!

    You've been given a lot of excellent advice: program fun activities on Sunday, explain her why you don't believe it anymore, let her selectively access JWD or other xJW sites, make your stance clear to your parents.

    But inasmuch as she still wants to go once in a while I'm on the side of the "don't forbid". Forbidding makes the forbidden desirable and a JW meeting is not worth that.

    Alot of what you do depends on your daughters personality and your parents personality. We are going to have to be pretty firm with one set of grandparents because of how they are know for their manipulative ways. We know they will try to put ideas in our kids head about how bad mom and dad are for not letting them go to meetings.

    so sorry you and your daughter have to deal with this

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