A guy walked into a bar with a crocodile and announced to everybody, "I bet you $10 that I can get the croc to open its mouth put my head in then withdraw it without losing my head. Any takers?"
On getting some bets in, he took a heavy glass ashtray wacked the croc on it's head with full force, the croc opened it's mouth the guy put his head in and withdrew it safely.
Everybody was amazed but thought that if he hits that croc again he is going to be eaten. So the guy says, "Another round?" and everybody piled there money in. He wacks the croc with all his might, the croc opens its mouth, in goes his head and again withdraws it safely and made a load money. He looks at the people gathered around and says "Does anybody want to have a go?" A blonde standing in the crowd answers, "Yeah, I'll have a go but don't wack me so hard."
blonde, ok and brunette jokes if you know any
by Spectrum 31 Replies latest social humour
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Spectrum
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NYCkid
I should mention that I'm blond.
Q. Why did the Blond lose her job at the M&M factory?
A. Because she kept throwing out the Ws.
Q. What do you call three Blonds standing in a row?
A. Wind tunnel
Q. What do you call a Brunette between two Blonds?
A. An interpreter
Here's a Monica Lewinsky joke:
Monica went to her dry cleaner to drop off a soiled dress. She had a stain on the dress and was trying to show the hard of hearing Asian man at the counter where the stain was located. He cupped his hand to his ear and said "Come again?" Monica replied, "No it's mustard" -
kittyeatzjdubs
A blonde is walking to her other blonde friends house. Her friend is in the driveway blowing into the exhaust pipe on her dad's car. She asks her what she is doing.''Well i ran into this car in a parking lot and my dad is going to kill me if i give his car back to him with a dent in it. I went to a body shop but it was so expensive! The guys that worked there were real nice though. They told me that if i blow into the exhaust pipe, it'll pop the dent out. I don't know if it's going to work though....i've been blowing on this thing for over an hour and nothing has happened yet.''
So her friend looks over at the car and starts to laugh. She then points out...
''Silly! Of course it won't work! The windows are rolled down!''
Dur....
luv, jojo
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tijkmo
what does a blond put behind her ears to attract men.....
her ankles
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kls
I am a natural Blonde and i must confess , some of these Blonde jokes aren't far off
Whoa , did i say that
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Spectrum
To All
"I am a natural Blonde and i must confess , some of these Blonde jokes aren't far off"
What is it then about blondes that gets the comedian out of us?
I have a theory. Can any blondes out there validate it for me?
The word has gone about that blondes have more fun. What idiot started that, I don't know, but if it is true, then it can only be a self-fulfilling prophecy on both sides of the equation - women and men(ie men after blondes).
Women who are hoodwinked into this sexualised idea of blonde hair, go out and get their hair dyed blonde believing that they will attracked more guys to fuel their ego. And of course they will attract more because men, as i've said, are on the other side of this equation. These men now want only one thing from our blonde princesses. They are not going to get the sensible blondes, so they are left with the egocentric sex starved bleach blondes. Intelligent brunettes realise what is happening and refrain from dyeing their hair blonde. The polarisation is complete except that the real sensible blondes get caught on the wrong side of this equation.
In a way it's a good thing for some of us guys because a bleach blonde is marking herself for rejection from person like me.
I love brunettes anyway, always did.
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A few from an internet site.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels. -
BrendaCloutier
Whats black and blue with brown hair laying in a ditch?
A brunette that told one too many blonde jokes!
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Franz
http://weblog.burningbird.net/2006/01/12/the-joke-is/ This is the best one I've ever seen
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kls
The word has gone about that blondes have more fun. What idiot started that,
Ya that is a good question because i am still waiting for fun . Maybe it happened already and i missed it Yup ,thats it ,i missed it
Me personally ,Blonde is boring ,has to wear makeup or ya disappear. I will meet someone with makeup on and then see them again with no makeup on ,and i see them looking at me like ,"Whoa ,where'd ya go ,didn't you used to have a face, and every thinks natural Blondes dye their hair anyway so it's a no win situation.
YO yo Brenda
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Gretchen956
A man walks into a bar on the 50th floor of a skyscraper in a large city in the US. He sits down at a barstool and starts a conversation with the man sitting next to him. "You know, he says, its an interesting fact about this building, but it's design, placement, and structure has caused the weirdest aerodynamics." "For instance, what if I told you that I could go over and open the window and lean my entire body out without falling?" The man shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"I'd say you were nuts," he said.
"Well, the man says, I tell you what, not only is that a fact, but I'll let you in on one other startling fact. I can lean my entire body out and let go entirely, and the updraft will carry me competely around the building and in the same window."
"I still say your nuts."
Tell you what then, what say we place a friendly wager, say $500.00 on that? What would you say to that? We'll have the bartender hold it for us.
"Thats a sucker bet, I'm in.
The man walks over to the window, throws it open, stretches completely out into the outside air, and stays there. People rush to the window to watch as he lets go. Amazingly enough, he doesn't fall! He floats around the building, back in the window, and closes it, to gasps and cheers.
The man at the bar says, "that was amazing! I want to do that!"
Well, says the first man, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars you can't do it."
"Are you kidding me? I just watched you do it. If you can do it I can do it! Bartender, here's my thousand dollars."
Man goes over to the window, throws it open again, leans out, and falls 50 stories to his death.
Bartender says to the first man, "Superman you are such an asshole!"