GGG
WT guidelines are open to a lot of interpertation by individual elders. The biggest one is repentenance, or lack of. Many people have been DF while claiming to be repentant. How do the elders live with themselves, DF'ing people who say they are sorry, etc. They are not mind readers. That is not following WT guideline let alone Bible guidelines.
I'm sure your assessment of your husband is accurate, but there may be some things you are not aware of. Hopefully you can plant some seeds.