She is pulled in perhaps because most of her relatives are JWs. You are very wise in objecting to this cultic organisation because they only want to deceive and exploit their members.
Suggestions Please
by nonjwalltheway 22 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
twinkletoes
Keep in mind the way this cult works. They will quote scriptures in order to control ones. One scripture they often use is ...A man's (or woman's) enemies will be persons of his own household.... this is often directed at the "unbelieving mate". So the more that you try to stop your wife going to meetings, the more you will be fulfilling the scripture i.e. according to the Watchtower teachings.
You may have more success with the advice given by seven006.
I hope that things work out well for you both and that your wife will eventually see the religion for what is really is - a mind-controlling evil cult.
After being a witness for over 32 years I am able to speak from experience and strength, I only wish I had seen them for what they really are.
Twinkletoes
-
Apollyon
I like to take the more direct approach, You could tell her as the head of the house(her head ship) In the best Interest of your family she should not go to the hall or studies.
Or ask her questions she cant questions she cant answer. Example: If the society is Gods
only channel for spreading the good news why have they been spreading the false news for the past \
100+ years.Your hope here is to get her to think for herself and not have the society think for her.
good luck---> oops I mean best wishes.....
-
Think
Ask her why she want to go KH. Ask her to put this on paper.
Ask her what she expect from JW religion.
Ask her if she believe in everything what JW teach.
Ask her to explain to you JW religion ONLY from the BIBLE without any WT magazine or book
Ask her WHY she believe JW religion is true.
Ask her more and more pointed question and ask her to put on paper.
Tell her that if she convince you that everything in JW religion is 100 % true,
you too, become JW.
Pray to God and keep you word. God bless you and your Family.
-
jaffacake
NonJW...
Hard for me to add to what others have said, except to say welcome, and best wishes in your quest. Many of us are trying to expose the organisation to our loved ones. I have made mistakes, through the wrong, angry, impatient approach.
Seven's advice was great. Above all, love your wife, you never know when something very small will make a difference, if not now, later.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on.
Some of us can recommend some excellent reading, hopefully for both of you. What, if anything might she be persuaded to read. If not from 'apostate' sources, how about non JW related books that might have the same effect. Between us we have a mountain of information on this site from official JW publications that expose the organisation, if only she will take a peek...Regards
-
M.J.
Here's a repost of what I told the other guy!
I'm in a very similar situation, but I've been dealing with it actively for much longer, apparently. Has she been inactive all these years and just starting to become more active? This often happens as a result of HAVING THEIR FIRST CHILD. The motherly instinct to protect the child from Satan and destruction at Armageddon hits in its full force. This gives a bit of insight on how much the faith system of the JW is built on negative reinforcement. Interestingly, Christ did not appeal to his followers in that manner.
Ok enough with the theology. First thing you must do to educate yourself is learn about mind control and how it works. Read Combatting Cult Mind Control as an intro, available from freeminds.org. At times you might not understand how the principles laid out in that book is applicable. But the more you understand the JW, the more it becomes clear. "mind control" here is nothing magic. It's simply a very effective and all-encompassing program of pursuasion that reaches down to the very heart and soul of the recipient. Learning how this works is simply a part of understanding the mind of your wife. To this end, don't be afraid to ask questions. Not to try and trip her up, but simply to clarify what's going on in her head. If you respectfully inquire and keep inquiring, always trying to understand her point of view, this will serve you very well, and eventually tell you what needs to happen for her to become unbound by the forces that have a grip on her. Remember that you want to refrain from judging. Leave the judging to the Pharisee-like Watchtower Society. Simply comment on how you percieve things from your own point of view, but say you'll save judgement until "all the facts are in"...
One more thing I want to add. DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let this thing get away from you. Act quickly to educate yourself. If your wife is just starting to get into it again, she might still be open to questioning things. There IS a reason she's inactive, if this is the case. If you wait too long, she might finally decide that she'll completely devote herself to the Watchtower Society and close off any thought to the contrary. These are some things you need to start finding out about her. Keep the dialogue open.
DON'T LOSE VALUABLE TIME TRYING TO PREP YOURSELF BY LEARNING "EVERYTHING" FIRST...Learn as you go. But DO Stick with the basic guidelines:
(from Check your premises) http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/104475/1.ashx
1. Never criticize the org. You can run down other religions ALL DAY. If you are hoping to help them see a flaw in the JW, the best way to do this is point out how messed up some OTHER religion is for doing the same thing. Don't close the loop by saying, "Hey, the JW do this also!" They will (if they want to) make the connection on their own. Play dumb.
2. You are only a student in the eyes of a jw, a potential recruit. You are never a teacher of them. This is your angle though. By being genuinely interested in them as a person, you can ask them questions that force them to THINK.
3. Always be very friendly and humble when you ask questions. The second you have an agenda, or sound like you are trying to win an argument, they will run away.
4. Always try to build his trust. If they don't trust you, and think you are a threat to them surviving armageddon, they will run away. If you are genuinely interested, they can and will talk to you.
5. Talk about religion only if you have to. Mostly just try to make them feel like a real person.
Don't be afraid of not having an answer for her during a conversation. The important thing you want to demonstrate is that you have the right attitude and approach to learning the truth. Thus, the ball is in her court as to whether or not she will do likewise. Don't feel pressured to have all the answers. They will uncover themselves.
-
drew sagan
I have known many that have left the Watchtower once or many times, but keep coming back. They never stop thinking that it is the "truth". If you have gone to any meetings you would see that they refer to their religion as "the truth" about ever other sentence. If your going to help your wife, she has to come to the conclusion that it's not the truth.
My mother for years had left the Catholic Church because of the rude and mean people that where in her church. She also had alot of problems with Church poicies. Despite all of this she still held on for years that the Catholics where the right religion, but the people where just bad. The same type of strange reasoning may still be in your wife, a deep emotional attachment to things she was told was the truth. Worse yet, she may see anything you say that is not positive about the witnesses as "persecution" from satan.
Here is what I suggest. The Watchtower has its strongest grasp on people when it comes to their "basic Bible teachings". The publications they study with people will show you everthing wrong that all christian relgions do expect them. These points are more than likely the ones your wife has an attachment to. If you start to read the publications that ARE NOT for a newly baptized or associated one you will be amazed with what you find. Prophecies that fullfill themselves in articles published by the Watchtower, inconsistancies, even material that says that the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" Aka the Watchtower is symbolic of the Woman in revelation. Mabye that the 144,000 is the only number in revelation that is taken literally by the Witnesses. Anyway, my point is that by looking into such wild teachings you may be able to help your wife to see that "the truth" although seemingly logical when reading the begginer books from the society, quickly turnes into absurdity when doing hard research. -
A Paduan
1) Your children are the issue here - be certain that they are not insufflated with "wt belief" before they can think beyond it - make certain that they hear from you plainly worded, heartfelt, calm words of absolute contempt for the stupid wickedness that is the wt religion - they won't forget it easily - have them know that the wt god is simply imaginary, and not God at all.
2) With your wife, forget the doctrinal babble - be nice but have her know that you can't believe a people with such a history of lies, deceit and backflips, with victim blaming the whole way - and that a group who doesn't help the poor (as a group) is nothing to do for Christ.
-
A Paduan
And if she insists that they are right about "this or that", acknowledge that no-one feeds poison to people without a sweetener.
-
MsMcDucket
Did you ask her why she has changed her mind about the religion now? Why does she think it's good now? There has got to be something that will turn that light bulb on in her head. I know for me, it came after my girls were baptized. Way too late. You have got to keep her from getting baptized; because if she does, and then comes to her senses, her family will have a reason to shun her.
Maybe you could ask her how she feels about shunning? Ask her if she would shun her own children?