elderly people, not married, living together?

by Mulan 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  Makena

  Mulan - I applaud your self sacrifice regarding your elderly parents. No easy task, and I hope you find a workable solution for all concerned so that you will "get your life" back someday.

  I watched my dad literally age a decade in about a year when he had to care for his parents who were in their 90's. My mom supported him in what needed to be done, but really had to put up with a lot of neglect, thankless - hard work, etc.

  The other issue called to mind an elder's meeting we had years ago with the visiting CO (Black brother whose attitude and voice mannerisms reminded me of Mr. T - anyone know who I am talking about?) He asked the group if it would be OK if a young brother of 19 who could not afford his own place moved in with an elderly sister of 90 who also needed some assistance. The correct answer was 'NO". Turns out the there were eventually "caught" fornicating and were d'fd.

  I wonder if the story would have gotten as much play if it involved a December - December match up, instead of March - December?

  Best wishes to you and your family. I enjoy your posts.
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  VeniceIT

  All I cans Say Mulan is

  *fingers in ears* LBABBLABALBNALANLANLANALNALNALANLANBLBALBAALBA

  Ven

  "The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong, is to let him have his own way."---Josh Billings
• 

  Amazing

  Hi Marilyn: Aside from the fact that it is none of the Elders business, I still think that the PO and other Elders should not object. When I was still an Elder we had an older JW man, about 75 years old, who often had young people stay with him at his home to assist him. Some of those young folks were also female and needed a temporary place to stay. It was a good deal for both.

  Were they both young JWs, it would have caused the Elders to intervene with 'concern' about the appearances or possible allegations of wrongdoing. But with the JW man being in his mid 70s, no one seemed to mind. One young women did raise the 'concern' with me. And I talked with the other Elders, and they agreed with me that the situation did not warrant any attemtion. I relayed that to the young sister, and she let it alone.

  While it is true that old folks may have lessened sexual interests, there is an old saying that, 'Just because there is snow on the roof, do not mean that there is not a fire inside.' My sister who is a Geriatric nurse has told me many times that the old folks in the nursing home get lonely and will sneak into each others rooms for some sexual attention. She also stated that sexual desire is about the last thing to go in old folks before they pass away. This is just her professional experience and observation.

  Notwithstanding that, it seems like your parents living in the same house with you in separate rooms should not be a concern to anyone. And who knows, maybe this might lead to remarriage against all odds to the contrary. - Amazing
• 

  Esmeralda

  I'm so awful for saying what I did but they don't know that I have watched Grandma make you miserable for as long as I can remember. I'd hate to see her have such easy access to you.

  Princess, I don't think you're awful at all for saying that. I understand what you're saying. I felt the same way about my father going home to my mother after he stayed with us for a month post-hospital. And the sad part is it has had a bad effect on his emotions, being home with her. It's breaking my heart.

  Mulan, I know we've compared Mommie Dearest notes before: and I have to hope that things stay the way they are and that another burden isn't added to you. From the sounds of it your Dad is much like mine in that he is much easier to care for, and love, than my mother.

  If she does need to live with someone...as Princess suggested, maybe there is someone in her congregation who would want a roommate. I can't imagine the stress that living with her would cause you.

  *huge hugs* to you both
  essie