by butalbee 25 Replies latest social relationships
PArdon Me for my ignorance but is he his brother or his mother... do they live together......
I do have one word of advice... ignore him... laugh at him expalin to him , its wonderful he has so many firm convictions..... and explain to him that neither he nor you should be DECIDING ANYTHING FOR HIS BROTHER>> its the only gift we have that is from god that no one can take.. unless we give it away... FREE WILL
and then politely tell him to FUCK OFF
S
Dear batalbee
I find you to be very perceptive in you're comments.Th only thing that slightly worried me was when you said :
I am concerned why he hasn't been going to those meetings. He should go, it is who he is, and what he believes!
For most religions I would agree with you wholeheartedly.Jehovah's witnesses however are no ordinary religion. Some call them a totalitarian sect, others a cult.If you have ever read the book 1984 then you will have an accute insight into the level of control that is bing exerted on you're friend.
Jehovah's witnesses use subtle yet powerful forms of mind control. A witness will not aware of the way the strings are pulling him but they are there nonetheless.There are many different ways.One of them is through the coming together with other members to reinforce the indoctrination process.This is done three times a week.Rather a lot by most standards.If this is not done constantly then the spell starts to lift.They begin to see things more normally and they are labelled by members as "spiritually weak".
When you say,being a witness is who he is,if this were true then he would be the same whether he went to the meetings or not.However the opposite is normally true.When he is not going to meetings and the indoctrination process stops, then he can become himself with his thinking faculties and objectivity.
I urge you to read some information about mind control and its effects in this religion.For instance check out :
http://watchtower.observer.org/apps/pbcs.dll/article?Date=20010204&Category=JWANDMEDICINE5&ArtNo=204017&Ref=AR
There are also articles on the freeminds site under watchtower psychology.
It is not simple as saying "it's who he is".He is being controlled in many ways that he cannot see.I did not see how I was controlled till I had left.That is normal.
I do not say that you should encourage him not to go to meetings as this could be dangerous.I would just say that if he voluntarily does not want to go then do not see this as a bad thing.It shows things are working in you're favour.The religion says that he should not be with you.He cannot deal with the internal conflict this presents so he is missing meetings.
One last thing. His brother is giving you the Isiah book no doubt because he wants you to go to the book study where is being gone through I believe. Think about it. His attempts at breaking you up have failed.The only option he has in preventing his brother from potentially leaving the religion is to make you a witness.
Does you're friend accept that you have no intentions of becoming a witness? If he does and he is still willing to go out with you then there is no problem - at least at present.
I am interested in you're story
Keep us posted
spider
So tonight, my friends brother and his wife come over to my house, bringing watchtower books and a book called 'knowledge that leads to everlasting life', thinking their were gonna have a study class with me and my friend--well Matt calls up AFTER they arrive and says he's not gonna come over. OMG!!!!!!!!!! I was in hell for 2 fun filled hours. When they finally left, I called him up and yelled at him, asking him why he didn't come over to save me. He said he didn't need to be there that he already knew what I was in store for, and that he's had enough of the bible groups for a lifetime. So here I am in totally shock and disbelief...What am I getting myself into?
No my friend doesn't live with his demon brother, he has his own apt. His brother is 4 yrs older than he is and is married with 3 kids.
Oh, just for the record--I work retail as a CSM, my friend works at the same store as I. I am his boss! How's that for a trip??
My friend and me don't talk religion. So the only time religious beliefs came into play was when his brother was playing his mind trips on us.
I am really angry at him for not coming over night. The brother is the one who initialized it, Matt had nothing to do with any of this crap. Or so he says, who knows?
All I know is I'd rather pick fleas off a monkey's ass than study this crap.
Butalbee.
Hey, Spider--thanks for the link!
You're friend is no doubt in a very difficult position.
He does not appear to have a strong interest or belief in the religion.He seems to be on the fringes.
If this were any normal religion a person with such apathy would simply leave.For a witness the choice is not so easy.
I can imagine a conversation going on between you're friend and his brother.
He would be shown the scriptures.He'd be told the negetive consequences.All the guilt feelings and emotional blackmail would be used to the fullest.In the end it generally comes down to this question :
"You do believe that this is the truth, don't you?"
He may not, I do not know.To answer this question in the negetive though has devastating consequences.It takes immense courage to say, "no, actually I don't".
I guess the only thing I can compare this to is coming out of the closet to intensely homophobic parents.
It is emotionally terrifying.Not only that, but if you make this admittance then shunning from family and friends will most likely be the next consequence.Thus a person might not believe and yet still lie that he does.
If you're friend says he does believe its "the truth" then his brother gains power and moral authority over him.If its the truth then by definition, his actions are obviously wrong.How can he go against Jehovah's laws?
You're friend is forced into a weak position.He might offer up his feeling for you as a mitigating circumstance but the watchtower rule is clear.When the brother suggests that the problem could be solved if you came into "the truth", you're friend feels powerless to contend with the argument. You should be a least given the chance to suvive at armageddon.
This conversation has probably taken place.You're friend would know of his brother's intentions.He might not neccessarily like them but if he has told his brother that he believes its "the truth" then how can he possibly dissent. He grins,bears it and feels impotent.
He is involved in a game where every rule is turned against him.As long as he accepts the rules of this game he loses.There is no way to win.He may be searching for a way; a loophole to bring things into his favour but it doesn't exists.The only way to win is not to play.
When he is ready to say he does not want the truth or does not believe it, things change. Only then will his brother's power over him be lost.
He might not have ever considered that the truth is wrong bu simply knows he is disatisfied.It usually takes a catalyst of some kind to make someone consider things from another point of view.You may be this catalyst.
Don't be angry with him. I speak as one who took a long time to tell his parents that he no longer wanted to be a witness.It is traumatic and a person needs to be ready.
His brother is definitely not his best friend, as he once worded it, he is his worst enemy. That is not an opinion, that is a fact. My friends been pressured back into the going to meetings, bible study crap, and he is miserable. Not only miserable, he is literally sick. And he is now "distant" to me. He told me he went on Sunday, felt sick for the rest of the day, and woke up the next day feeling even worse. He missed work monday, needless to say. Then yesterday, he said that we shouldn't be seen together in the daylight anymore, because someone from the congregation might see us. OMG!!!!!!
As for me, I have been given much literature regarding JW from his sister in law, and she says she'd like to open my eyes to the truth, and I quote, "If not for you, do it for Matt".
I am so worrried about my friend, though, and I don't know what I can do to help him. I can't tell him how I truly feel about this entire situation. His brother has so much power over him, that it makes me sick.
