Where were you when the realization hit, that the WTS was not in the truth?

by whyizit 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  damselfly

  First doubts about God at age 4. Serious anger at the org during teen years as I became aware of sexual abuse with people I was close with around the same time as magazines and talks at our local hall downplayed the seriousness of such abuse. Watching nothing happen to the abusers while the kids were ignored. Last straw was finding out that the abused kids ( if older~teens ) were being pushed into confrontations with their abusers and pressured into forgiving them at such encounters. All this going on while being told seeking counselling wasn't needed just pray and god will take care of it.

  I left at 18 and was d'fd a few years late. Never again will I put up with such malicious stupidly.

  Dams
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  lola28

  
  
  I saw the Dateline story and ignored it; I thought well ok a few elders made some mistakes but they are imperfect. I justified what had happened, by telling myself that it was just the work of some imperfect men, and hey at least we are not as bad as the Catholics. Then in May of 04 I was looking for the website that sells service supplies (I needed a book cover) and instead I found a disassociation letter and I remember sitting in my office reading it, knowing that I should not read it and knowing that I was going to be late for the meeting (it was a Tuesday) and still I read the whole thing and by the end my heart was broken because this poor woman had been put through so much. I got up and went to the meeting.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  A few days later I went back online to look for the letter and found JWD instead, and I began to lurk, I read every story and I knew that the society had hurt so many people more than I thought was possible, it wasn’t just the faces that I saw on the Dateline special it wasn’t just the one woman that wrote the letter but it was hundreds of people that had been hurt. I went to that convention that year but it wasn’t the same, and I knew by the end of the first day that there was no way I could ever remain a witness. I had always felt at home in the hall and at the convention but this time it was different, I felt out of place and lost and alone. I had never felt so alone and I was in a huge stadium surrounded by thousands of my “brothers” and “sisters”.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  That was the last convention I went to, and it was also the last time I turned in a service report. I did not leave because I was mistreated by the people in my congregation, far from it, I left because I could not stand the feeling I got when I walked in to the hall, because every time I walked in I would think of all the stories that I read, I would think of all the people on JWD that had been hurt by the society and I could not stay in and pretend that everything was okay, I could not go to the meetings knowing what I know about the Society. My moment came when I was sitting in long Beach feeling more alone than I had ever felt in my life.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
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  atypical

  I was sitting in a quiet lounge on a cruise ship, reading a book, sipping a martini, and watching the water go by. I had sort of an "Ah Hah!" moment. It just struck me in a new way how big and complicated the world is. The world view I had been taught seemed so simplistic and childish. I thought to myself, "There is so much I don't know". After that, I started reading old publications and researching different topics. When I found that my research was only destroying what little faith I had, I then allowed myself to start reading "apostate" material. After that, it was over.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  I had been having doubts for a while when a close friend of mine disassociated, and we were warned to stay away from him. I had never really been comfortable with the shunning doctrine, and just refused to do it this time, so the elders pulled me up and gave me some heavy counsel, warning me to stay away from him - or else! I told my friend, and he said if I had to stay away from him he wouldn't like it but would be okay with it. Instead, I saw him more, visited his home and started reading on Freeminds and on here. I also started reading Crisis Of Conscience, and a few weeks later I absolutely knew the jws do not have the truth. I da'd in November last year and haven't really looked back.
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  Gordy

  I had been separated from my wife and family for about 3 years, I had been demmed a "spiritual danger" to the family because of my depression. I was in another congregation trying to get it back together. When I came across a book "Awake to the Watchtower" published by the Reachout Trust, in the local library. I thought it was just another book having a go at the JW's. I started to read and read. It was like a wave of water over me, it seemed to knock me to my senses, every doubt I had had about the WT was there. I next found Freeminds site and spent the next two years going over everything again and again. Then in August 1999 I was at a service meeting at the Kingdom Hall. The brother giving the talk, who I had known for many years, was doing those little gestures that you see at business seminars by speakers. Then I realised the talk was one I had heard time and time again "do more, do more". I thought how much "more" will be enough for them. I then concluded I no longer believed in this rubbish. After that service meeting I never went back.

  I waited for the Elders to call. It took them two years to do so. I was out at the time, they said they would call back, never did. So I thought "so much for Jehovahs loving organisation" they just proved everything I had learned in the previous months. I sent in by letter of disassociation.

  It cost me my JW wife and two JW daughters no longer having any contact with me, its now for 4 years.

  Now with the UN and pedophile scandals also, added to their false prophecies and changes in teachings etc, there is no way I would go back.
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  Thinkagain

  I really did not want to belive it at all.Then I started to tell others at work

  how a cult it was and full of lies , so I thought to my self if I tell others will then I better be reading more , and get my act togeher. So here I am.
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  Berean

  I found out that the WTS was not the truth when I was falsely accused and slandered by three other Elders. One in my congregation and two in another. When I presented the evidence of slander and lies, I was accused of trying to "Straighten out the Organization". Everything was covered up, I was accused of going against the Society - like Kora against Moses, and the slanderers were given more responsibility.
  
  LIARS ... every one of them.
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  Victorian sky

  I'll never forget it. I was sitting in the hall during the air and sea show. The Blue Angel jets were screaming overhead and would drown out some of the talk so the brother would pause for the jets then speak. Well i couldn't stop listening out for the jets and wishing I could see them. I had the odd thought that i wish i could fly away from here, from these people. After the meeting, as I walked out, a voice inside my head said, 'never again, don't ever come back here again, it's over, you're free.' It was a gorgeous day, I looked up and saw the jets in formation and i felt exhilarated as if a heavy load had been lifted. That was 3 years ago. There's been pain and family drama as a result but there's just no going back. I'm a Christian now and happier than I've ever been. God bless - V Sky
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  hamsterbait

  I read the Generation Watchtower study. I felt queasy for weeks. Might this all be a fabrication, I felt.

  I kind of hung on for a lot longer. Erosion came with UN, pedos, Randcam, Philip Morris, unjust DFs, lies about the past, etc. I could no longer go door to bore. I don't want to lie to strangers.

  One day I woke up and realized I was only sitting there for family reasons. I still go occasionally to keep the elders out of my hair. In my mind I reduce the speakers voice to the sound of a bluebottle in a jar, or smile to myself at some piece of nonsense.

  This is rank hypocrisy. But I am unofficially shunned anyway, so when I can't take it any longer and run out screaming, I doubt anybody will come after me!

  The WT has not done anything to give me the simple faith I have now. All this stuff they rant on about chronology and blah blah blah is just blinding the witlesses to how sterile and pointless their works actually are.

  HB
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  Maryjane

  Hecklerboy wrote: Curcuit Assembly in 1996. I was sitting there listening to the speaker drone on and on while looking around at everyone. I suddenly started feeling very uncomfortable. Like I didn't belong there. I kept thinking "there has got to be more to life than this". So I got up and walked out never to step foot into a KH again. I still remember the feeling of walking out of the assemlby, down the steps and out to my car. I was a beuatiful sunny day and I felt so free and happy as I drove away. It was like that bubble I was in exploded and I could see everything around me clearer now.

  Exact same way for me! (except Distric Assembly 1999) . I've had misgivings about a lot of JW things before but one day it just "hit me" like a spell had been broken and I just had to get out asap!