Hey Farkel,
I'm sorry for the pain of loss you must be going through now, and the anger over circumstances. But, in a way, you're very fortunate to feel the way you do - a loving loss of a parent. I know it would be hard, but you do have love --- -and so does your father have love for you. What a gift he's passed on to you ---- and for you to pass on to your children.
Your added gift is the ability to express your feelings for us, so we can touch with you.
For those of us who don't know the feeling of tenderness & love you have for your father, thanks for expressing it. It's as alien to me as a black void.
As for your mom, it will be hard for her, but women seem to be quite strong.
Take care. I hope my words didn't offend you, as that definitely wasn't the intent.
waiting