I Said Goodbye (page 4)

LovesDubs

Hugs Farkel. I feel bad for our family members who dont really know who we are any more. What a loss.

:*(

Loves

Kent

Hi Farkel;

I'm sorry for your loss, and I know how it feels. A few years ago I sat by my fathers bed, saying goodbye, holding his hand untill it was all over.

I also had the oportunity to talk with him the last part of his life about all the stuff we could never do before, because he wasn't a JW - my mother was - and my relationship with him was completely ruined in young age.

However - knowing we had talked about everything, and got a good relationship in the end - made all the difference in the world.

Keep your head high, my friend.

Regards

Your friend Kent

COMF

My love and concern go out to you, Doug. You recall to my mind a couple of years ago, when my own father lay dying.

My father abandoned my mother and brother when she was pregnant with me. He came back for a spell after I was born, but came and went periodically and without notice until my mother divorced him for nonsupport when I was 10. After that I saw him even less frequently, and always got the feeling from him that I was a guilt-stone attached to his ankle, someone he hadn't wanted and consequently hadn't loved, and yet felt guilty for not loving.

I may have seen my father as many as five times during my adult life. I knew him less well than I know the checker at my regular grocery store.

When I heard that he was dying, I made the several-hours drive to say my goodbye. He was in a coma, and so I sat in his room wondering what to say to this person to whom I was connected by genetics and nothing else. At length I spoke; and when I did, I told him frankly about what life had been like without a father. Then I identified with his side, described what I think it must have been like for him. I would up saying that I understood and that I forgave him. At the end, I said, "Go in peace, dad. I love you," and I left. The next day, he died.

Although he probably never knew on any conscious level that I was there, I like to think that I sent him on his way a little more at peace with himself. I certainly was more at peace, for having been able to tie up that loose end.

You're a lucky man, Doug, to have been able to love your father while he was still alive rather than as an afterthought. To have actually known him as a father, and benefitted from his teaching and example. It must be a wonderful thing.

COMF

Tina

(((((((((((farkel)))))))))))))
My heart and thoughts are with you at this time.
He raised a fine and good son,we will always see his influence in you. Wishing you love and comfort.
Please let me know if there is anythng I can do,or anything you and Mom might need. Your pal,Tina

Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."

Undecided

Hi Doug,

I can feel what you are going through as I lost my dad when I was 18 and I loved him dearly. I am fighting tears as I think of you right now. We must face whatever life brings and just go on, it's not easy and brings sadness to our hearts. I hope your mom can cope with the loss. We are thinking of you and hope that helps.

Your friend,

Ken P.

normie67

Doug
You have my deepest sympathy and hope you find comfort in the "Hearer of Prayers"

My Thoughts and Prayers are with you!

n67

alirobbi

I'm so sorry for your loss Farkel. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Robbi

josephus

farkel.

i dont know you i didnt even know you were called doug. yet i know that you are one of
the best people here. you are respected by most, and that gives a clear sign
as to the type of man your father was.

for all our sakes i hope we will meet in paradise.

neil

Norm

My thoughts are with you Farkel. It is good that you have been able to express your feelings to your dad while he was alive. Far too many never express their feelings and appreciation to their nearest and dearest. I hope you are able to bear the sorrow, I know it is very hard and it takes a long time to get over. As I have mentioned before my mother died in May 1997, I was able to stay with her in an extra bed in the same room.

A couple of days before she died, we had a wonderful breakfast together, while watching the lovely spring weather and the sun shining on the mountains outside. We talked about a lot of things and she told me so many things that I didn’t know and had not heard before. It was very good and we were able to say goodbye to each other. Later because of the immense pain caused by the cancer she was suffering from she was given very heavy doses of pain killers so it became increasingly difficult to communicate with her. She died while my youngest brother and I were holding her hands. We talked to her and I think she was able to hear us until the last minute.

Hang in there Farkel my friend, don’t forget to take care of yourself too.

Your friend,

Norm.

proplog2

Farkel:

My dad died several years ago. I didn't shed a tear. I felt he had a great life. I didn't hate him and that's about all I can say. He died suddenly from a stroke. Even though he was an elder and was "faithful" to the end he had requested in his will that he would be cremated and that there was to be no funeral or memorial of any kind. Funny thing. My mother received a sympathy card from one of the Governing Body that quoted several poets but not a single scripture.

I don't know yet if death is a friend or an enemy. At this point in life I find the Bible to be an interesting puzzle. But I draw my deepest comfort from Budhism.

I Said Goodbye

Share this