But also note the difference. This woman is motivated to INFLUENCE her daughter such that the DAUGHTER has more control over HER own life.
Over-kill. I have yet to read anything in this situation that suggests the daughter does not/ or is not the master of her own life. If she chooses to let the JW world-view influence her, that is her choice. Just because she could potentially disagree with your world-view does not immediatley suggest a lack of control over her life. . She has the freedom to make up her own mind and I do not discourage her to hear both sides.
I think that the fact that the JW are influencing her life, that she is by definition not in control of her life. I am sure you disagree. The fact of the matter is that mind control is real. How else do you explain people like Elizabeth Smart, Patty Hearst, or the poor girl who was recently found a few miles from her home. What about battered women who defend their attackers when the police arrive? Are they free to make their own choice as to whether or not to leave their attacker? In all these cases the person was free in a strictly physical sense to alert the authorities, or run for help. They didn't. Their captivity was in their mind. Their captors used unethical methods of influence to remove their sense of reality and control and give it to themselves.
So is all influence equal? http://www.rickross.org/reference/cults_in_our_midst/cults_in_our_midst4.html
What about advertising, salesman, propaganda? Are they all the same thing? Are they all equally ethical? http://www.rickross.org/reference/cults_in_our_midst/cults_in_our_midst2.html
What groups like Scientology? Are these methods ethical? http://www.xenu.net/archive/infopack/7.htm
But once HER mind is made up, it is best not to make an uneeded distraction. THAT could cause problems which is what we are trying to avoid.
Are you saying that once her mind is made up as to the truthfullness of the JW paradigm, that she should never look at facts or ideas that go contrary to that paradigm? So does that mean that catholics and baptists who have made up their mind should never listen to the JW's that show up at their door? Does truth require we build walls and never allow any ideas that might question our beliefs? Or does truth relish such questioning because it knows it's quality will only be shown? John 3:20-21
We want a happy family, which can and does exist between Jws and their Non-Jw families. I speak from experience. We need to be careful not to let crass generalizations (ever present in Carla's post) influence too much. If the Mother (Katy) comes from this area of thought, the daughter will simply (and rightfully) pass her Mothers ideas off as uneducated. If the roles were reversed, you would be making the points in my argument. Would you not?
Admittedly the problems that come up between jw and non-jw family are often due in part to the non-jw. There is often a basic bigotry involved. Sometimes there is a misplaced demonization that takes place, where the non-jw comes to view all jw's as the personification of evil. I have never supported or recommended such a view. I have often spoken against the dangers of such thinking. Jw's are people just like everyone else. The challenge is always to seperate the JW as a group from the individual jw's bad behaviour. I don't have a problem with jw's, or their beliefs. I only have problems with how they behave.
The reasons why JW's do often act poorly are a direct result of their beliefs. JW's carry the myth of absolute certainty in their paradigm. Now the best a person can ever say about their views is that they have always remained intact in the light of any new facts or ideas. In this sense JW certainty is laughable on it's face because a jw would never look at any facts or ideas that might challenge their beliefs! But what really makes the JW myth of certainty soooo obnoxious is they are denying the one thing all people have in common; that is no matter how smart or knowledgeable we are, all are equally capable of self-delusion. When a jw insists that they are most certainly right, they are denying this very basic aspect of their own humanity. They are saying "only you can be delusional, I cannot be". With their certainty intact, jw's are free to run around being obnoxious and condescending because "they have the truth". Such attititudes are clearly defensive in nature. People who have truth don't need to resort to such toxicity and bombast. Imagine a scientist using his authority to threaten another for testing his theories!
The mother will appeal to her daughter using carefully thought out questions designed to get her to be open to ALL facts and ideas.The JW will appeal to the daughter by asking her to ONLY look at facts and ideas that support the JW paradigm
This is again a double standard. You automatically assume that the Jw understaning of the issue is incorrect and passed off as the "JW paradigm" (incorrect view forced upon) whereas the other view is based on "well thought out Questions" (ie, not forced upon opinion, but simply the "truth") .The Mother has an opinion based on her morals, so does the daugher.
I see no problem with her Mon giving her opinion, as long as she knows the difference between "both sides" and being stubborn with her own "side" of the coin.
Double standard? You mean like calling other groups part of Babylon the Great for having "false teachings", but when the JW are forced to admit they got something wrong (generation teaching) it is explained away as "the light getting brighter". Double standard indeed.
My assumption that Katy would ask well thought out questions was simply me giving her the benefit of the doubt. Based on my knowledge of their history, the JW will get no such benefit of the doubt from me.
CYP