new girl

by nomoreTRUTHplz 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nomoreTRUTHplz
    nomoreTRUTHplz

    Hello all. I am new here. I began studying with the witnesses in 02 and was baptized in 04 but within months of baptism I stopped attending meetings. My marriage was rocky at best before I studied (husband abusive) but after it just continued to get worse. I had a baby daughter when I started and had my son while going to meetings and out in service as unbaptized publisher. Of course I was doing this without help of my husband so I would always come home from meetings more stressed than ever after keeping (or attempting I should say) my kids under control while there. Of course no one would ever offer to help with them...except when I would miss a few meetings and then elders would say something to sisters and then they would be like "Oh yeah we help each other don't we". I always wondered with all the LOVE they speak of why do they need to be reminded of something so simple. Another question I always had was the apostasy thing. If it was the truth what were they so afraid I would learn? Now I know, I would learn how many stupid things they have said in the past. Also with my marriage, they have all those rules about reasons for separation. Well everything I read about abuse said in cases of "extreme physical abuse". Well they really need to be inlightened because the verbal, mental and psychological abuse is the hardest to live with. (Speaking of that since leaving my husband and the organization I began to realize they used the EXACT same tactics of control that my husband did. So I wonder if I had not been so used to being controlled, would I have even fallen into their trap?) And it's funny when I was with my husband I did not have any support from them but once I left they're practically swarming me with offers of help and sympathy. Where were they when I really needed them? And when I spoke with elders about the abuse when I was still attending meetings the only thing they could say was "Try to keep the kids quieter, cook his supper and don't call the police because once you get authorities involved you can't get rid of them(look who's talking)." A lot of help that was. Now I just wish I had never gotten involved in it in the first place. My daughter is now going on 5, she's been taught their beliefs up until now so she asks me all the time "Do we celebrate birthdays? Do we do Easter? Grandma doesn't do birthdays does she?" She is so confused now. My family is very split because of it all. My aunt is baptized and she studies with my mom, but my mom shows no interest in progressing although she does not celebrate holidays and attends all meeting, she says she will NOT become a publisher and I hope she sticks to that.

    I have been reading on here about Richie Rich and how he got ahold of the flock book. I read about that on other sites. Is there somewhere that it is on here. I am very curious about what it says. I told my mom a little about what I read before, but she isn't ready to listen I guess.

    Thank you all for reading this and I am glad to have someone to talk to now. No one who hasn't been there understands. I have tried telling old friends how hard it is to leave the witnesses but they just don't get it. How much guilt you feel and how confused you suddenly are about what to believe. I really miss praying, but just don't know how anymore. Feel like I gotta figure out who MY god is because their version is not my idea at all. Thank you all.

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    Welcome!!!

    Enjoy your stay.

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    Welcome...Glad you made it out!!!

    Here's the link:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/110725/1.ashx

    Swalker

  • Oroborus21
    Oroborus21

    check your pm for a link....

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Hi love! I'm so sorry for all you've been through, I want to wrap you and your kids up in cotton wool away from all the violence and madness!

    Somebody once sent me a link to the elders manual, I've lost it though. Still, somebody here will surely send it to you.

    You've done some very brave and wise things for yourself and your family, and your lives now can only get better. Your daughter is probably confused - explain to her that sometimes we make mistakes and learn from them, and let her be a kid. Getting out of abuse is a great gift that you've all gotten; now you get to live a real life.

    All the best to you all!

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Welcome and thank you for posting your story.

    Time will heal the wounds and you will be able to move on, luckily you did not spend too many wasted years and so the recovery will not take as long, nor the regret be as great as for those that lost many decades to the organisation.

    Talk on this board as much as you like, because that is a great healer.

  • Gill
    Gill

    Welcome NMTP!!

    Well done on coming to your senses so quickly and beginning to move on, with both the WTBTS and your husband.

    I hope life begins to improve for you soon. You appear to have a sound and sensible head on your shoulders and should be congratulated for seeing through the BS so quickly.

    Hope to read many more posts from you!

    Gill

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Welcome Nomore.

    I'm glad you found this board. There are so many here who have had to deal with similar things as you.

    I hope you find some comfort and sense of belonging here.

    IMHO you should let your 5 year old know you made a mistake and it is ok to celebrate the holidays. It's ok to be wrong.

  • pudgey1
    pudgey1

    welcome, happy you got out!!!

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Hi there, and welcome to the board

    I am so glad you found your way here

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