by AK - Jeff 24 Replies latest jw friends
One of the posters here - before I knew she was a poster here - in fact before I knew of this site at all, sent me an email early on in my exit. She likened the whole leaving thing with grieving over a dead loved one - said it took most about two years to work thru all the phases of that loss - denial, anger, etc.
I think she had it about right - that's about how long it took me. But without JWD it would have been longer.
BTW - thanx Mouthy.
Jeff
I can't say I can define the process of leaving (in terms of anger, grief, etc). I have been out almost 5 years now and there are still days when I get really angry and I want to email my parents and really stick it to them. Other days I could care less. Most of my days I could care less, so that does that mean I am over it? Not really sure. Perhaps if I still had my family, I would have gotten over it long ago.
Purza
Well I never got df'd or da'd, so maybe my experience is not a good example. But I faded over time. I never went thru a morning process. But then again, I intentially moved far away. I had to find all new friends anyways. So it was not sad, it was exciting and new (like the Love Boat) ... all aboard we're expecting you (go ahead fill in the rest of the song). Also, I never had heaps of JW friends, I had a few close ones. I still have them to this day. Some are still JWs and some are not. I guess I am lucky considering the stories of what people have gone thru here.
About 6-12 months.
I just thought to myself of how stupid those people are that gave me a really hard time, and I thought about how much THEY need help.
JWD helps you get over it twice as quickly! :) LOL
MAYBE EVEN QUADRIPPLE THE TIME!?
Even though I have been out for over 20 years I still am not completely "over it". My mother stayed in and shunned me for many years. Then we got to the point where we could have friendly lunches together. Even though she was still a JW and also believed she was one of the anointed, we were slowly beginning to repair our relationship. Then she became ill and passed away.
I have had a difficult time accepting the loss of my mom, not just in death, but to a cultish religion. So many wasted years. I loved and miss my mom and I don't know if I will ever be completely "over it".
I have a good life and a beautiful family, but there are times when I feel very sad and wonder why I had to lose my mother to this religion.
Eva
i dunno. its odd even after leaving this cult still affects my life. i always believe in being the best person i can but the wounds i got from the society affect how i live.
for example depression. i had unbelievable depression and even now, some days i won't go out at all because i just feel 'low'. its because of what i went through. thanks to the society i don't have a proper relationship with my mum, infact she is more like an aunt. ( i don't not love her, just no trust for things that you trust your mum for, the things that you take for granted, the things you don't say...they went after she kicked me out. How can a mum just 'let go'?)
why should i have good and bad days for something thats meant to liberate. they don't even make leaving easy yet it should be choice!
Kw13 - of the tired but thinking about how to get back at brooklyn class -
about 3 years of intensive Bible research to untwist the lies.
another 3-4 years to overcome the grief (therape, healing stage)
a couple years to fix the results of bad choices I made while under the Tower's influence
My last meeting was in 1990
My last panic attack was about 6 years ago
It took me five years to rid myself of all the crap, before I could talk religion of any kind.
This was long before JWD. Everyone on here keep up the good work it makes leaving the cult much easier and works as a good support group.
I'm not sure it's something I'll ever get over completely. It took a while for me to look for fast, easy answers like the JWs had to offer, but eventually I realized that there were no fast or easy answers and that I was just going to have to figure out life on my own. So then it took me at least a few years to do all that figuring out that I should have done instead of subscribing to whatever the Watchtower told me when I was growing up. Even though I've developed my own outlook on life, from time to time I still find that there's deprograming left to be done. Those times make a lot of the pain come rushing back.
