How long did it take you to get over it? (page 2)

blondie

Despite, my reviews, we are over it.

By the time we faded, we had said all we needed to say. Our family ties were no longer an issue; we were shunning them because of the sexual, emotional, verbal abuse. By the time we left, we were over it. And if it comes to it, we have no problem DAing but on our terms and our time. I would like to put an ad in the paper as well.

It takes time to get over abuse and you need help. I think sometimes that those who say they did it on their own, discount the help they did get.

But there is nothing wrong with righteous indignation over new cases of abuse. But a realization that it may not be possible to remain "close" those still in the grips of the manipulation of the WTS.

Take your time, get help if you can, realize you did not get there overnight, and you won't get out overnight.

Blondie

lovelylil

It took me about a year while on the inside to prepare to leave. That is because of my hubby and kids. Once we all were out, it took only a few months for us to decompress and feel better. We came out around the same time and don't have any other family in so I think that helps. But it has taken me almost two years to really build up a new belief system and in some ways, it is still a work in progress. The biggest blessing is none of us totally lost our faith in God and Jesus. I hear that is rare with whole families.

thecarpenter

Well, I'd say I went through a prolonged and painful leaving process. I noticed things weren't a 100% in the late eighties and everything just got worse from there. I finally started separating myself emotionally around 1999 to now. (I felt the disllusionment around the late 90's and the anger for the last few years. Bear in mind I wasn't getting involved in discussion boards until this year unfortunately. If I had been a bit more diligent earlier on, I could have saved myself alot of grief. I look back now and have to shake my head and wonder how I could have been so blind. But for what it's worth, I'm glad I separated myself and life really has been alot better.

nicolaou

Eva

Just wanted to say that I was moved by your account of your mother. I couldn't work out why it resonated so much until I re-read it a few times, especially the last few words, "there are times when I feel very sad and wonder why I had to lose my mother to this religion".

As painful as death is, it's a natural thing and we all come to terms with the natural loss of an aged parent but, losing your mum or dad to a corporation.......... ?

The Watchtower truly is 'death before life'. All the best Eva.

Nic'

evita

Nic
Thank you for your kind words. I needed that as I have been quite down about my mother lately. My mom was only 69 when she died a little over a year ago. We had been so close before I left the JW's. My mother was beautiful, intelligent, and creative. She had so much life in her before the dubs came along. But she also had emotional problems and severe depression which made her vulnerable to the cult. I spent many years feeling angry with her for her stubborn fanaticism and bitter about my lost years as a dub.
I am no longer angry, only sad. I hope time will help me understand and accept the way things turned out.
Thanks again for your understanding post.
Eva

Van Gogh

When I faded the first time in 1988/89 my experience was positive and liberating; a bit like that of looking_glass. Job and gf pushed the cong/JW out of my life and filled up the “void”. All relief and no grief. I forgot about it completely and dropped out of sight of family and JW.
However, the guilt that was “hardwired” into my brain caused me to go back in around 1995. At that time, I made some disastrous financial decisions, lost my wife, avoided a career, led an exemplary “clean” moral life in solitude, basically spent the prime of my life “Waiting for Godot” until the same rut that made me fade the first time finally forced me to find out the truth about the truth in the fall of 2005.
For a short while it felt liberating and exciting. Soon afterwards though the utter senselessness of the sacrifices has dawned on me. This time, “grieving” over loss is indeed what is happening right now; the grief is hitting me in the gut hard and my subsequent collapse has forced me to finally seek professional help. So I’m not sure how long it will take me to come over it this time… my/our time is slowly running out. That’s the whole problem. That’s the truth I found out.
VG

bem

Staying out has been easy, but going through the process of getting it out of my system has been difficult. I admit I don't have the hatred for the cult others have, I'm sure thats because my children are all out and we are patching our holes together.

At first I had a great deal of grief and I suffered with panic and guilt, by that I mean I doubted myself so much at that point I worried I might not be able to trust that I could make any descisions on my own, I did depend heavily on jwd and some of my friends I didn't realize I was at the time, but I do 'see' it now. I matured over the last couple years in ways I didn't realize I needed to do. I have the sense that I think I have a ways to go yet, I'm just not sure why but it will come to me when I'm ready to handle it. hehe

I just know I don't feel as vulnerable as I used to and I have had help along the way, and stayed somewhat sane

~ Dorothy

sass_my_frass

A year later and I thought I was doing okay, but I found I'm not. (The tantrum I had at work after getting an email from JW brother-in-law involved me giving a whole-body, arm-straining multiple birdie to the entire state of Western Australia excluding only my non-witness family, and them only in my head). It turns out I still have a lot of what could be called unresolved anger. I've decided to get some help for it; I don't want to carry it around any more.

Sunnygal41

Well, I think that I personally still have my days of rebellion over the status quo........check out my post on Sunday about my sister refusing to talk with me when I called her........I dunno, guess I'm just a stubborn ass sometimes.........either that, or I just like to "twist the devil's tail" from time to time......... Terri

LittleToe

A couple of months. However there are occasions when it breaks back into my life through my family. Unfortunately it always will. Meanwhile I attempt to just shrug it off and get on with the business of living!

How long did it take you to get over it?

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