You hurt because you care.
(((((((((((((((((((((lola)))))))))))))))))))))))
Your letter didn't say anything about da'ing and if you wanted you could appeal the decision.
BSoM
The fallout and the pain
by lola28 25 Replies latest jw friends
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MsMcDucket
This wonderful elder also took the liberty of calling a brother that I’m really close to and told him about my email, he also sent him a copy (this brother is not an elder!).
Hang in there Lola. It seems that you still do have friends in the religion. Your friend did take it to someone else, and helped to make a change in your status. During this time, you will find out who your friends really are. This thing happening to you may cause others to open their eyes. It's a hard thing to separate from your child. You, recently, said in a previous post that there are "three" women that are really close to you; and that this is what made you not want to be disfellowshipped...these women will be wondering what's going on. Now, you will see who is going to stand by you.
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Lady Liberty
Dear Lola,I am so.. sorry!! It makes me so... angry that they have this kind of control!! I know there isn't much anyone can do to ease your feelings right now. But please know we are here for you during this time, as I am sure you will be there for others, when there time is up. Mine included!! Hang in there, your not alone!! Remember that!!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
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jgnat
Lola, I'm worried about you. You're not sleeping right. See the doctor if you can, about ways to deal with the stress.
Why does it hurt? Look at people who divorce. Couples usually don't separate casually. And when they do, both the leave-er and the leave-ee hurt. It hurts whenever there is a loss of relationship, even if it's not your fault. It even hurts if there's nothing you could have done to prevent it. It hurts even if it was the right thing to do.
Maybe it's the RIGHT time to take a page from Gary Buss's book, and allow this experience to shake out who your true friends are.
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osmosis
I, for one, think that it hurts because it's supposed to hurt. If they didn't have control over all your friends, they wouldn't really have any control over you. Shunning is their trump card - it trumps logic with emotional manipulation. It ensures loyalty to the group. If it didn't hurt, they wouldn't bother.
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White Waves
They are outing you to beat you to it. So they have the last word. If they did give a copy to your non-elder friend, he will see for himself you did not DA yourself. This may raise questions for him about how the elders are exercising their power. I would still talk to this friend and see where the two of you are at. Meanwhile, BEFORE they announce you are DA'd, you'll have to decide if you want to protest this move. If so, get an elder from another congregation involved to stop the process and involve a higher level - CO or DO. Otherwise, you'll only receive lies from your own hall in order for them to not be wrong - elders are never wrong.