I mentioned here a bit over a week ago that I met a woman that had rather knocked my socks off - http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/111807/1.ashx
Well, we went out on an actual date last Friday. We had problems getting in contact with each other before then until finally I just asked her out on Fri. She said absolutely "Yes!" and seemed quite excited about it. But, she said she needed to talk with me about her "situation", face-to-face. *alarm bells!*
We were both nervous when we met at the restaurant. She looked beautiful and as she walked in, my heart did a little flip. (What?! Argh! get ahold of yourself man!) She kept playing with her hair as we sat and enjoyed some small talk at first. The nervousness lasted all of about a minute as we just started talking about everything. Our body-language was very warm. Eye-contact remained throughout. We smiled, leaned into each other across the table. We laughed. We were surprised that we had so much in common. It was, to say the least, one of the more enjoyable dates I've ever had.
I find that she is a paralegal. I find that her father is the president of a motorcycle club for ex-law enforcement and feds, so no outlaws to worry about.
I find out that she is living with a man she was engaged to. (This man has a Mormon background.) I think they may be technically still engaged, but she says that she is not in love with him and has even told him so. His response was essentially, "So?" She is obviously not entirely happy. She says they have not even slept in the same room for some time.
She could be lying or coloring the facts a bit, but I don't yet have any reason not to believe her. But I'm no idiot either. I'm keeping my eyes and my mind open.
But, when I'm around her, I feel things I haven't felt in many, many years. A friend that saw us out Friday said I was glowing. Our conversation just flowed naturally and it was like meeting up with an old love after many years.
But the next day, things rather went back to the way things had been. We just keep missing each other, it seems. She asks me to call. I do, but she doesn't answer. She returns the call with a text message asking me to call her later. I do, but no answer. She calls me around lunchtime yesterday and we do talk for a couple of minutes, but she was picking up her son from school and so had to let me go. She says she'll call me later. She never does.
Mixed messages? Yes.
So, I took a risk today and sent her an email explaining that I was quite twitterpated by her and that it was driving me nuts that we had such a hard time getting in contact with each other; that it's my experience that when someone is interested in someone else, they make time. I won't repeat the entire email here, but I went on that it really is okay though. She is busy with business, house, kid and her, you know, fiance. Which, BTW, also has me on edge. I, as a rule, never involve myself with someone who is already otherwise involved. But, she had said she was not married in the beginning, which is technically true, I suppose, and also, what's done is done.
Ah, what a bit of a little mess I find myself in here. I haven't met a woman that makes me feel like she does in probably seven or eight years... not even remotely. And yet, I receive mixed messages and she is, again, still technically engaged.
Now, I'm not asking for advice here exactly. I know that I'm going to have to, ultimately, back it off. I'm going to have to let her make up with, or break it off with, her fiance. It's not right, and it's not honorable for me to do otherwise. But, this woman... I cannot get her off of my mind.
You guys have to understand that she is this blond, blue-eyed bombshell, complete with a sort of Marilyn Monroe voice... that is not that big of a deal. But she is intelligent as well, and funny, and charming, and very sweet... So far for me, she seems to have the complete package.
Argh! What a hard decision to make, but make it I must.