suppose it's time....

by BlackSwan of Memphis 23 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    Alright.

    I've been here for over a year. And I guess after opening my big stupid mouth on jw's thread regarding child abuse it's time for me to share a bit more about me...

    When I was in my preteens I ran away from home in the middle of the night. Can't remember why exactly, just did.

    It was late autumn, freezing cold, thought I'd walk to a friends house several miles away. Well, a guy drove by in a newer model station wagon and asked if I needed a ride. Freezing cold and scared to go further, I accepted the ride.

    From there...stuff happened. Don't like talking details but stuff y'know?

    This is the way I feel about child abuse/rape: Sometimes, more often then not, dna and what not is just not there. In my case, I went home and that was that. I never told my mom. I told a few people what happened, but only as much as I'm telling you.

    This is soooooooooooo difficult to talk about.

    For years the stupid religion made me believe I was guilty of fornication. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it and I was scared s***less.

    For someone to come around here and question MY friends (yes you are my friends) to get down on MY friends for getting the message out there, well....

    it brings up some emotions.

    And this is why the child abuse thang is so dear to my heart guys. It is rape, it is forcing a chid to do disgusting things to a perv. People like that don't deserve to live.

    There it is. This has been tough. But maybe, if you see me get irate with a 'troll' who seeks to bring us down, well... this is why.

    BSoM

    thnx

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    hugs BSoM

    the bravery of the people who have spoke out to try to protect other children within the WTBS are to be commended.

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    ((((((megan)))))))

    you are so brave to share this.

    I can't begin to understand the horror of abuse to children. You are brave to defend other children who are victims of this.

    Love you sweety......

  • anewme
    anewme

    Black Swan I hope you do not continue to feel guilty over that childhood nightmare. Poor little thing! I wish I was your auntie back then and could have comforted your heart and shown you lots of love to make you forget that evening.

    Its true, children to be protected!!!!!!

    I wont even let my chihuahua out by herself at night! Nor is she allowed to spend the night at a friend's!

    Im real strict!!!!

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    (((((((((BSoM))))))))) You didn't do anything wrong. A crime was committed against you, and you are a survivor, not a victim.

    You will help a lot of people with this post, I'm sure of it. You're very brave. I am sorry about what happened to you.

    ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
    essie

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    thx

    brings back way, way too many memories guys, this is just not something I want to deal with and process mentally.

    partly i wish that it didn't come up, but i don't want to do it alone and i lost my sisters. so you're what i have....

    ty

  • KW13
    KW13

    well i'm sorry this happened and i think your very very brave for speaking out on it. I respect you for that.

  • ferret
    ferret

    Blackswan My heart goes out to you. You are a very brave person and I hope the posters here can help you get over any guilt you feel. Stay close by you will see you have a lot of real friends here.

  • sf
    sf

    SCREW GUILT!

    {{{Tight, warm hug}}}

    sKally

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    BlackSwan,

    I know it is something you don't want to discuss. But maybe at some point you will feel strong enough to discuss it with a therapist. Someone who can walk you thru your emotions, because there are a lot that are still there waiting to be let go. A therapist can also help you deal with the guilt of what happened, because based on the language of your posting it sounds like you are still blaming yourself and this WAS NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM your fault. Whether you ran away from home, whether you took a ride from a stranger, you did NOTHING to bring this upon yourself.

    The strength you have shown here and in prior postings is amazing and you should be commended. You will find your voice when you are ready and when that happens, I hope all those emotions and words that you have held close to your heart are put in a place where they belong and you begin to really heal. When you are ready to give up your story in whatever way is healthiest for you, it will happen. I am sending loving vibes your way. Peace and happiness to you and yours.

    L_G

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