Anger!!!!

by FlyingHighNow 33 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Nowman

  I pass by them all the time and just stare, actually. I have neighbors that I grew up with living down the street from me too, I always pass by their house. I also stare at their house. There is like a gray cloud lurking over the halls and my neighbors house. I was just walking my "westie", (aka "Kasper) the other day and caught a glimpse of someone in a suit, and had this wierd feeling come over me..."been there done that"...I felt so free at that moment, I did not have to study or prepare for anything that evening, just normal evening stuff with my family, it was such a great feeling.

  I understand the ANGER completely, feel that way at times too. The shunning thing got to me so bad. I was an only child, did not see my mom for 8 years, have not seen dad since October 1992.
• 

  Rabbit

  Flyin' Sweetie...

  Most of the time I am OK, But...sometimes I do have a flashover of heat, fire and anger...usually when I think of my Mom and the way she died at the hands of the GB's Bloody policy. Then, of course, being shunned by all my kids affords many opportunities for angry thought, too. I miss them.

  I guess I am getting 'calloused' somewhat...I don't think about them as often as before. I feel terribly guilty about that. I don't know if I'm just tired of the proverbial 'rug' being pulled from under me, over and over, or maybe it's just a sub-conscious self-defense reaction. I dunno. I know I just cannot stay angry -- at the same time I fear I am giving up on my (once upon a time sweet) children.

  On Memorial Non-Celebration Day, my wife and I were passing the local KH where my JW X-wife and one of my children attend...that anger flashed -- I reached over and 'flipped off' the crowd of cars, the KH and all the hurt and death they represent in so many lives. My sweet wife looks agast at me and says, " WTH was THAT for...?" Me: "You know...!" She didn't, she thought I was aiming my loaded finger at her. She doesn't see real well and didn't know we were passing the dark, windowless, fortress looking Kingdom Hall. Then, she understood and was very supportive...she flips 'em off, too.

  You'll be OK. I hope the hurt becomes dulled for you ( and all of us) over time. It's not healthy for our minds or bodies. But, we all need an outlet to rid ourselves of this poison, your posting this is one way to do that.

  Good for you !

  Your friend, Rabbit
• 

  schne_belly

  I mostly have an eerie feeling and a deep sense of sadness.

  For 22 years, all that the Kingdom Hall represents, was my life. That was where my "friends" were..... That is where my parents still are. A place that I will never return to.....
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Hey there FlyingHigh, Im sorry to hear about the terror that the WBTS has inflicted upon your and your familys life. I know for a fact that they're hurting too.

  Hang in there.

  My anger is with the governing body and those that set policy at Bethel. I need my sister right now. I'm angry at them for holding her hostage. We were always so close. She's 8 years older than me. She's almost like a mother to me. My little brother is very ill with hepatitis C. I may not see him again, on this earth anyway. My anger is with the governing body for making it impossible for me to offer him my support and help during this awful time in his life. He and I are kids number 5 and 6 among six. We went through nursery school together and through grade school and even high school. I fended the bullies off him and later he carried my books for me when my leg was broken in three places and I could not put weight on it. I walked on crutches and he carried my books. What a sweet heart he was to do it for me.

  Rabbit, I feel so sad for you about your kids. My two grown kids are very troubled, but thank God they are not JW's and see right through it. I'd be so sad if I could speak with them. My grandsons are the apples of my eye. I'd be heartbroken beyond words if I could not speak with them or see them. (((((((Rabbit)))))))

  Schne, do parents speak with you at all? That's why I'm angry right now, though I passed two halls today and didn't feel quite as upset, they were older halls and didn't looks so silly. I hate the way they break up families, whether it's through death from one of their policies or through shunning.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  I've just recently discovered anger too, and it's so intense! I'm really having trouble controlling it some days, and it's starting to get in the way of my life and work. There's also this paralysed feeling, kind of helplessness - I can't do anything about their insanity, it's like having hands and feet bound and mouth taped over.

  I'm going to think for a while about doing a final farewell to them all, so at least I've said what I wanted. Even writing it down somewhere helps a bit. Still I'm a very straight person, and right now I feel like finding a kingdom hall and throwing a brick through every window.
• 

  Mattica

  I was angry for a long time for no one in the congregation ever doing any thing about the abuse, and apparent signs of it. I was angry at God as well. But I'm over all that now. But now I find myself getting angry when I read about how families will cut off a family member. I was fortunate, my mom and dad still were involved in my siblings lives after d.f.ing. However since I have been able to refute all their twisted doctrines, and got babtized, my mom has really shyed away from me. Oh well...When I went through therapy, I used to say the same thing, with a few choice words that I won't mention here. I got to the point where I could drive by and say, bunch of poor loosers, little dogs following a bone, weak minded, depressed uneducated ignoramuses who are too scared of a bunch of men, and to lazy to pick up a book and really see what's inside. Other times I imagine standing on the sidewalk to the parking lot entrance and handing out flyers on real bible truths. I would love to see them try to get rid of me. I guess I admit I have not the testicular fortitude to do so, but would gladly do it if I had some back up. I also ordered a subscription of the cristian reasearch Institute, and put my moms name on it. I think I might someday do that for other witnesses as well. As for signs to put in front of the KH, I would put; please come inside and visit, we will lead you away from God.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Still I'm a very straight person, and right now I feel like finding a kingdom hall and throwing a brick through every window. ;

  (((Sas)))) I think I'd like to see a lot of people throw bricks through the windows of the apartments of the gov bod and their closest supporters' windows. I'm sure that if only one or two exwitnesses did that, per day, the line would snake through Brooklyn and would last for weeks.

  As for signs to put in front of the KH, I would put; please come inside and visit, we will lead you away from God.

  Each week we could change the sign, like churches do. "We can teach you how NOT to have a spiritual connection with God." "Do not help the weak." Ect. Etc.
• 

  A Paduan

  BTW - instead of draping a sheet advertising Silent Lambs over the Kingdom Hall sign, why not rent a billboard near (or joy of joys, right above/next to) the Kingdom Hall?

  Perfectly legal. Perfectly infuriating (for them) - {evil laugh}

  Anyone who rents a nearby billboard for that - I'll contribute
• 

  Panda

  Anger shows that we have come to the knowledge that WTS is full of carp. Anger in this case shows we know we were kept ignorant, and that now folks we love (and will always love) continue (voluntarily) like "lemmings to the sea." I recently read something interesting about those lemmings jumping into the sea --- they don't jump; they are pushed by those behind them who haven't seen those dangerous cliffs yet. Sound familiar?

  I still get heatedly angry w/ anything WTS.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  I recently read something interesting about those lemmings jumping into the sea --- they don't jump; they are pushed by those behind them who haven't seen those dangerous cliffs yet. Sound familiar?

  I still get heatedly angry w/ anything WTS.

  Yes, isn't that interesting? My sister pushed me into the sea and I pushed my brother. All I know is that the WTBTS are more evil and cause more damage than most "Christian" denominations. I look at people like Hitler and see that they didn't last forever and it gives me hope. Even the Catholic church watered its self down eventually. One can only hope the evil of the WTBTS will be diluted, weakened or stopped all together....one fine day.