My "Unexpected Lunch Date Surprise" --or, Blow me down!

by LDH 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • LDH
    LDH

    OK, the homemade chicken noodle soup is cooking so I have about ten minutes to share something with you.

    ****Fake Name/family relationships Alert*** Critical info has been changed to protect the innocent.

    I called a Business Contact that I've gotten to know over the past year today. I said, "Rico, let's go to lunch."

    "Hey Lisa I haven't written any business with you, that doesn't feel right."

    "Rico, I'm not asking you to write business, I'm inviting you to lunch! Now I've invited you three times in the past and you always say no, so I'm beginning to wonder if I have a wart on the end of my nose?"

    "Ok, I'll go--BJ's at 11:30?"

    We sit down and start to have a pleasant conversation. We talk about the business environment in the Central Valley, business opportunites down the road, etc. About a half hour into lunch he shares that he's breaking up with his significant other with whom he has a daughter.

    We start to talk about that, and the reasons. Turns out she's not willing to 'invest' any time in his family, unlike himself who invests a lot of time and emotional energy into hers. He says it doesn't feel right not to be a part of his extended family. He is trying to be as close to them as possible, which is hard for me to understand.

    At that point I share that I was raised JW, and I've seen more broken family relationships than you can shake a stick at, and what a negative long-term impact severed family ties can have, blah blah blah.

    He then tells me, "Lisa, I was raised JW too."

    Well that starts another whole conversation. "Rico" is in his early 40's. His mom died when he was young, raised by older family kind of thing. I'm not too clear on the details cause I'm still in shock.

    In short:

    • he never got baptised
    • he was encouraged to turn down a football scholarship at Fresno State
    • an elder took him to the side and privately begged him to go to school, he didn't feel that would have been the 'spiritual' choice.
    • he was not old-school hard nose, more of a fringe 'son,' and so bears them no ill will
    • he is never invited to family gatherings 'bad association spoils useful habits'
    • his brother is a DO

    now here comes the bombshell. He is not good enough to be invited to any family gatherings but his brother's wife called him a couple of months ago after 'praying' over the issue. Assures him that she loves him but can not associate with him, and then proceeds to ask if he will help their family pay for a trip to Poland to attend the International Assembly this summer.

    He said he would pay for it all.

    Even though I know he's not reading this, I want to send him another hug.

    Him and all the other "Rico's" that we will never know about, because there are too many to count. He still has some level of belief in God and the Truth, I told him I didn't but I didn't tell him why, too overwhelming for him.

    Lisa

    Can you stand it? Class

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Sad. They can't speak with him, but they can call and ask for thousands of dollars. Users, with no respect for family or common decency.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    many negative things can be said about his family..but i just wanna say WOW what a kind hearted man he must be! sounds like one of the good guys.

  • serendipity
    serendipity


    Hi Lisa,

    What a shock! He's a better person than I am. I wouldn't pay for a convention if my family didn't associate with me. Maybe I'd pay for surgery or help them out if they lost a job, but NOT a convention. I hope this opens his family's eyes so they don't leave him out.

    If he bears them no ill will, and he's moved on, maybe he's in a good place in his life.

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    Whoa! That is heavy...poor guy! At least he doesn't know, that was probably very kind of you, Lisa.

    Wow...that is cool that an elder begged him to go to school. Even then some of the elders were getting wise to the error of the counsel in print.

    Respectfully,
    AuldSoul

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    The sheer audacity of some people amaze me.

  • TMS
    TMS

    Rico is obviously not of their "sort."

    tms

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    He should of told her that supporting the racketeering by the Watchtower Ass. would be a violation of RICO's Law.

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus
    I wouldn't pay for a convention if my family didn't associate with me. Maybe I'd pay for surgery or help them out if they lost a job, but NOT a convention.

    Absolutely right! Family emergencies you should always try to help out in, but to pay for them to attend a convention where their attitude will be reinforced, is just enabling them to continue in that negative behaviour.

    "Ok, I'll go--BJ's at 11:30?"

    I had to read this three times before I realised what it was you were offering him! My bad!

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    So shameless, and now I bet the sister in law is sprouting off to everyone how Jehovah answered her prays to help her go to the convention

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