by lovernotafighter 95 Replies latest jw friends
What is the naughtiest thing you ever did during a dist./circuit assembly? I will be totally honest with all of you fine people.
What I did was to stay for the whole assembly, ( bit my tongue) talk to many people and be nice to them.
I know this is hard to believe but it is true. Please forgive me!
Well the worst (but really the best) thing I ever did was about 3 years ago I went to the DC for Winnipeg. A friend and I dressed like dubs and went and sat down and listened to the morning session. When the book was distributed after the session we both went and got some copies. When she saw how many I had gotten she went back to where she got hers and told them that her "mother" already got some and gave her copies back. But before she gave them back she had already put copies of silentlambs business cards in each of the books.
Then we wandered through the building leaving silentlamb cards on tables, seats, and the floor. Then we made a quick exit out of the building. And as we left we put the cards on cars and all over the parking lot.
Lee, that is awesome! I can't remember why I didn't go with you. Probably because my mom would have been there.
I've never been to any conventions in Selkirk. I hear they're held in a real dump.
At our circuit assembly in XXX, FL, the Dubz rent a Hall that shares parking with a huge marina that has hundreds of seagulls.
Most of the Dubs eat in the parking lot.
I learned that if you hit a gull with a rock when it is flying over and begging food from Dubz, that it will dump its body weight in smelly sh^t all over them.
Absolutely hilarious.
I've also found that if you park your motor home outside the assembly that the temptation to stay in it and surf porn on the internet or play violent video games is unbearable.
OK - against the advice of my court appointed attorney, and naming the real (first) names...
In a city called Oklahoma, long long time ago, three young servants named James, Larry and Mike were assigned to help a slightly younger ministerial servant named John and go pick up some folding chairs from one of the kingdom halls and take them over to the fairgrounds to handle overflow seating at the circuit convention.
We go forth - James and Mike in my 1974 L82 4speed Corvette, John and Larry (John driving) in none other than (city overseer) Marion Dunlap's big old work van. We load up the chairs. We are driving back. We line up going south at a red light on Meridian and 10th street.
I guess that idle hands, a close ratio fourspeed, a small block Chevy, Mike Tennant riding shotgun, and a very good-hearted younger guy driving a hopeless big old van took hold of YT. I burn through first, fishtail over in front of Van still burning out, and mash down on the disks. John, to his everlasting credit, manages to get Van shut down but is firmly convinced he will impact Corvette in the buttocks. Folding chairs follow the laws of physics - bashing John and Larry firmly about the head and shoulders. Corvette is by now burning out again and dissapears into the distance.
I do not think I have ever seen someone in a suit and tie and so angry at a circuit assembly as young John was when he finally found Mike and I back at convention hall. John outsizes me (both then and now, I think...) by probably 15 pounds and about 2 inches, and he has within him all of the Lord's righteous anger. He grabs me by the throat right in convention hall and is about to pound your humble servant into the ground when he suddenly realizes where we all are...Larry and Mike are in convulsions, of course.
We apologize like the gentlemen we all were.
I believe that both Larry and Mike are still JW elders, and I strongly suspect that both James and John have gone on to other pursuits.
Well, at least we had some fun that Saturday morning...
Laughed at naughty (XXX) cartoons my wife drew during the sessions.
Nos
I've never been to any conventions in Selkirk. I hear they're held in a real dump.
OMG It was a dump. I was shocked. Out in the middle of nowhere. small and dark even with the lights on. I remember when CA and DC were "events". Flowers around the stage everything cleaned up. This place was so dark I wish I had a flashlight.
And really out in the middle of nowhere. Just fields around it.. If you didn't bring lunch you were forced to use the car to go back into Selkirk to find a restaurant. Many cars were doing that when we left. At lot of other people were sitting in or around their cars having their packed lunches.
I'll see if I can dig up one of the pics I took.
Auld - the boys I know did the same thing. But then during the lunch session, they would look for a really pious looking jw and put it in their bible or song book, for shock value. They were horrible. But the look on those women's faces was priceless.
Sounds like that commercial for mastercard (or visa cannot remember). Gas to assembly hall - $25.00 one way. Packed lunch to eat at assembly hall - $15.00. Look on old pious sister's face when she sees drawings of women's naughty bits falling out of her bible - PRICELESS.
At an assembly, the brother read the announcements prior to lunch, mentioned when the program would resume, and stepped off the platform. But he never said, "You are dismissed"! Oh Gawd! What should we do?
I was at an assembly once where the brother said the closing prayer and didn't say "amen" at the end. The same thing happened... everyone stood there and wondered what they should do. Do we keep our heads bowed and maybe he'll say amen eventually? Do we open our eyes and see if he's even on stage anymore? It took about 20-30 seconds before people actually started saying "amen" and acting like the prayer was over.
The worst thing I ever did at an assembly was .... um...... can't think of anything. I was one of those terribly compliant types who followed all the rules no matter how retarded they were.
GGG
I was in a congregation where the brothers were instructed NOT to say "amen" since it was the listening audience that would say it....of course if everyone said a silent "amen".......
There never proves to be an end to the rules.........BTW did Jesus instruct his disciples to say amen at the end of the Lord's prayer?
Blondie (I would have been out of there so fast)
