by loosie 22 Replies latest social humour
Ok this was suggested on another thread. Lets start our own JW urban legend.
Attention all you story tellers out there. Lets make this good.
I will email it to all I know. You guys can email to everyone you know.
Lets see if we can get this printed in a publication.
Wouldn't that be hilarious!!!!
How about we create some apostate urban legends?
Like an ex-Dub leaving her house to find the place swarming with police and all sorts of other emergency types. When she asks what happened, she's informed that two JWs were heading toward her house and the ground opened up and swallowed them.
lol You're funny.
But I want to see what my friends will really believe.
I am hoping this will get published in the yearbook or something.
You know like the blind dog leading his new master ( old JW master died) to the KH 3 times a week
A woman converts to being a dub, but her husband is opposed. She keeps trying to get him interested in the Truth, and after much persuading he agrees to come to the Public Talk with her just to shut her up. He gets a very warm welcome and is impressed with the talk. When he and the wife arrive home though, they see the whole house has been demolished in a gas explosion! If he'd been at home reading the paper and scratching his balls he would have been dead!
The husband immediately says "If your God can save my life once, I believe he can save it again at Armageddon!", gets baptised at the next Assembly, and they both become Pioneers.
In a congregation on the other side of the state an apostate was writing some information on the internet, when his computer kept going back to the Watchtower homepage that he had looked at months ago, he kept changing it back and doing everything he could to ignore it. So finally, he got so upset he booted his computer up and ran a virus scan and found nothing. So when he got online again, he had it happen again, so he decided to read the watchtower site and found it was an article of Jehovah's love and forgiveness and he started to cry and that week he returned to the meetings and is now reinstated and preaching about the dangers of the internet that he once took part in with such a negative tone. So maybe if our computer is broke and stuck on something that makes no sense at the time, we might want to take a closer look and realize the virus that needs cleaning is not on our hard drive.
WOW! That could have been written today at Bethel, couldn't it? See how easy it is to BS and mislead people! Urban legend be born.
A woman who had not yet converted to dubism and was still studying, was reading the My Book of Bible Stories to her young child before bedtime. Halfway through storytime, the mother and child heard a whimpering in the corner. They looked over and saw that the childs stuffed smurf doll was crying. They asked the doll what was wrong and he said, ''So many weeks I've sat here in this corner and listened to the beautiful stories about Jehovah and his loving kindness. I wish that I too could experience Jehovahs love and wisdom.'' So the mother and child allowed the Smurf to sit in on their next study, and invited him to the Sunday meeting. He was so taken aback by the love shown to him by the brothers and sisters that at the next meeting he attended, he asked the PO, ''When can I get baptized?'' A baptismal study was promptly ensued and the Smurf was baptised that following summer.
The Smurf is now an elder and is serving in Smurfland where the need is great. So far he has established 3 congregations despite constant persecution from Gargamel and Azrael.
luv, jojo
Oh this is fun!!! Keep 'em coming
LOL! Very well done, Kitty.
The Smurf is now an elder and is serving in Smurfland where the need is great. So far he has established 3 congregations despite constant persecution from Gargamel and Azrael.
Doesn't ring true, somehow. Only about a handful of the smurfs are actually productive: Papa, Brainy (on occasion), Hefty, Handy, Miner, Farmer, Painter and Greedy. The rest are mindless drones that do the others' bidding.
Come to think of it, perhaps it IS the perfect model of a JW congregation!
Katie had a lot of bleeding during delivery, so much that even the Scientology practitioners there recommended she get a transfusion. Tom (Cruise) and Katie lost their faith in Scientology because of this incident. They started researching blood alternatives. One of the nurse midwifes was a dub & she used the opportunity to witness to them. They are now studying and refusing any movie roles that involve violence or immorality. (If this legend really took hold and the media asked Tom about it, can you imagine his reaction? He'd be doing a lot more than jumping on couches. Even while vehemently denying it, ppl would believe it's true --> negative press for JWs.
