Marriage advice needed...am I being unreasonable? (page 3)

Virgochik

When I first mentioned the women's travel club on Sunday, he said, yeah, that's a fair compromise, might be a good solution for us! Now, this morning, Wednesday, I said I'm very serious about this trip to Rome. It's 5 nights in a 4 star hotel, 5 breakfasts, and includes roundtrip air from New York. What a deal! He had a fit and abruptly said he was sorry to hear that, as he was working on plans for us to travel. I just don't want to fall for this any more. When it all comes down to it, he will refuse to fly. I think he thought I was making an idle threat to go with the women to motivate him, but I mean it! Anyways, he makes me a nervous wreck when we fly. If the plane makes a little dip, he winces and covers his eyes so he won't see it crash.

blondie

I would still go...he said it was all right initially, and you have the money.

I agree with other posters, there is something more going on there. MIght even be worth going to a counselor about.

My husband was a traveler when I met him, and now we travel together. As many problems my family had growing up, traveling seemed to help.

Blondie (wish I was going with you)

PS Hubby and I plan on traveling even more after we retire...buying a nice motorhome and off we will go.

Blondie (we can pick you up on the way)

Virgochik

Blondie, you are so fortunate! A trip's so much better when your loved one sees the sights alongside you. Nothing would be better than a motor home, with a rooftop deck, moving on with the seasons or your whim!

Hubby honestly just wants to go fishing in the nearby mountains on his vacations, staying for a week or two in a cabin or a tent. I'd be stark, raving bored after 2 or 3 days. I'm gonna offer to accompany him on a fishing trip, to meet him half way, and then, I get my Europe trip this fall without a fuss. Sounds fair to me!

Did I mention, the trip is only $999, plus tax? What a steal! Thanks to everyone kind enough to give their opinions. I have to go to bed now; will check back in the morning!

sass_my_frass

I definitely agree that you should see Europe... it would be much better with your love, but regardless, it's important for your person to travel. Something's going to go wrong with hubby though, one day, if he doesn't find something about life to enjoy.

I'm in Oz and I can think of a hundred places I'd like to see in the states. There must be many places besides Yellowstone that you can go?

diamondblue1974

In my view he is the one taking control at the moment; in effect hes controlling you through his inaction and that shouldnt be tolerated.

Take control over your own life and go and do what you want to do; see what you want to see, the choice is whether or not he supports you, if not, do it anyway, its his loss!

DB74

greendawn

I don't know how he will take it but I think your only solution is to travel alone because he is not really keen on travelling for whatever reasons and you will be staying at home year after year without taking a trip anywhere.

As you said all you want is a refreshng change and not any hunky punky.

Abaddon

Also, he says he's already seen Europe, and so why should he see it again?

LOL, that is so full of bull... it isn't fricking DisneyLand, it's a continent.

Your hubby is giving you a run around. And he probably is thinking if you go off for a holiday, then he's gonna have to look after himself. Yet he is obviously scared of airtravel - which is a genuine phobia for those who have it even if it's nionsensical to those who don't. So, you get to stay and wait on him - if you let him get away with this.

Go to Europe with the gang of girls.

Gregor

I have traveled a lot on business trips, international and all over the US and Canada. It was never that much fun because my wife wasn't with me to share it. My dream has been to take her to some of the places I think she would enjoy and we have travelled together a little. We would have done more but she is never that excited about it and I can't see all the expense if she's not enthusiastic.

Wasanelder Once

If he he asks for sex, just tell him that you've done that but developed a fear of pregnancy. Tell him you'll think about it. Wait, no! He might join a club and do it without you!!!

Just kidding. Go. Why should you not eat chocolate cake because he's afraid of forks?

W.Once

Abaddon

Gregor

I travel on business maybe six times a year, and also to see my kids. I take along my fiance as her schedule (she's a teacher so can't just take days off anytime) permits, as she basically goes for free on business trips apart from what she eats - and even then if I have to have a meal in the evening with a client, it's normally cool for her to come along for free. My clients get taken to nice places, LOL. Likewise when I go back to the UK to see my kids, except sometimes it's the extra cost that rules it out.

I like being places by myself, but it's also great fun with her along, and there's places I've been to without her (the US, Romania, Tunisia, Spain, Scotland, Ireland) I'd love to take her to too share the fun. SHe's mad keen for it so I can understand your frustration (maybe not quite the right word but you know what I mean).

Kate and I are a little freakishly together - I realise not every couple are the same without it devaluging the relationship - but to not go and string someone along is just not nice.

Marriage advice needed...am I being unreasonable?

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