JWs and the lack of high emotional states

Lady Lee

JWs and the lack of high emotional states The WTS capitalizes on a couple of mood states. The biggest is FEAR. By demonizing everything non-WTS they create a state of constant state of fear that one might wind up outside the protective hold of the WTS. This fear applies to any organization, to places of work, to friends and most definitely to their families if they aren't JWs. JWs are warned constantly to be on the alert because Satan and everything he controls (everything not WT sanctioned) is out to get them and drag them back to the world. Hobbies, interests, many fields of employment, associating with non-JWs, everything is forbidden due to the risk of being drwn away. The other mood state they rely on, which may sound odd but I think it works is NUMBness. As a person is indoctrinated they are told that the high emotional mood states of many religions are actually demon-inspired. The holy-rollers, chanters, speaking in tongues, waving your arms in the air as you sing or pray (this is just the short list but are most commonly referred to). All these are deemed demonic. The WTS claims they are not like any of these highly emotional religions. They have a very serious and studious examination of the Bible and base their beliefs solidly on mental research rather than emotional displays. The result of this is that few JWs really experience many highly emotional states and when they do they often feel bad, guilty or out of control and therefore try to be more controlled. While they are told that JWs have more love amongst themselves than any other religion (and this therefore is proof of God's blessing), in reality, they are no different and probably less emotional than most people. With constant reminders that the end is near, the world is dangerous and soon to be destroyed and the only place of safety is within God's "ark", the WTS, most JWs are very flat in their emotional responses . Those of you who have been to a JW funeral will have seen this flatness of affect. But look at the meetings. At a convention when people get baptized there is a polite applause. If there is a release of a new book, applause. An interesting point or a resolution, applause. No cheering, no standing and getting excited, just that appaluse. At weddings music is carefully chosen to bridle the passions. At funeral no uncontrolled crying, no real sadness for the loss. When a child is born - no real joy because that means one more person to try to get through the persecution before the end comes. JWs are constantly reminded that whatever they do that is good is a demonstration of God's favor anf everything bad belongs to Satan. No holiday celebrations. Everything and anything that could enduce feelings of joy, grief, happiness, pride at their accomplishments is taken away. Is it any wonder we have a problem experiencing feelings once we leave?

rebel8

Brilliant. Really, that is so true!

I only learned to have facial expressions that match what I'm actually thinking/feeling within the last few yrs. Took me that long to stop the automatic "stuff it" tendency.

plmkrzy

The biggest is FEAR. By demonizing everything non-WTS

I totally agree. I've mentioned that in threads from time to time but it seems to me that a lot of posters still do not recognize it even after being out for a while. It bugs me maybe more then it should.

plm

Honesty

The Watchtower turns people into emotional, mental and spiritual wrecks that sometimes takes years to rebuild.

Mystery

I agree with you Lady Lee. It is that fear and numbness that keeps a lot of our familes in the org. JW's that will not research (out of fear), that will not think for themselves (out of fear), they can not experience true joy (out of numbness) are very difficult to reach. And I completely agree with you with regards to "everything" outside the org. is demonized. How do you connect with someone that believes all that is told to them?

under_believer

/agree on the fear thing. Even though I am no longer buying any of it intellectually, the residual fear is still with me. I understand, even, that mental conditioning produces physical changes in the brain--actual rewiring--and that the mental path to this fear is very short. That's why it's still there. I will probably live with it for the rest of my life.
As far as the flat affect, it's definitely there too. It's worse in some congregations than it is in others, but it is omnipresent. I currently attend one that is especially bad--the blandest, most boring congregation I've ever been at.

Lady Lee

Mystery

How do you connect with someone that believes all that is told to them?

My personal belief is that there are two ways in. Depending on the type of person one way may be better than the other.

For those who are controlled by the fear, helping them to see that the GB has made too many mistakes to be speaking for God, is hypocritical and has a double standard, has more money than any JW would ever dream of. Once the "authority" the WTS has established for themselves is gone, the rest might fall fairly easily.

For the others who feel exhausted by JW life it might be easier to help them experience some fun in life. That can be done without breaking any WT rules. Helping them out of the cult personality and into their true self can go a long way into them realize there is more to life than meetings and service and that the world is not as bad a place as they have been led to believe.

Finally-Free

I've heard JWs say they "had no use for passion", even in the bedroom with their spouses. Even the sex act is reduced to the level of a natural bodily function, such as going to the toilet, and not something to be enthusiastic about. It's a wonder any of them have children.

I remember feeling as though I had to contain my enthusiasm about everything - or get chastised for being "unbalanced". I couldn't discuss my interests with anyone without getting counselled.

It's only been in the past year, since I got my bird, that I'm not dreading each day when I wake up.

W

DHL

The result of this is that few JWs really experience many highly emotional states

With constant reminders that the end is near, the world is dangerous and soon to be destroyed and the only place of safety is within God's "ark", the WTS, most JWs are very flat in their emotional responses .

You got it, Lady Lee! I couldn't have said it any better. Control a persons emotions and you control that person. And - even worse - if you do that long and good enough the person will begin to control others and himself likewise. After some time you don't have to do much anymore, it works anyway.

ithinkisee

Holy crap. That's me in a nutshell.

At work I was always told that people can never tell if I am kidding or not because my expression was always the same. (sarcastic half-assed grin)

I still feel like I am alot that way, and I envy others who are very honest with their expressions.

I don't fear everything anymore ... but I still have to keep a layer of protection over my emotions because I know I still have JW family that I will eventually have to "have it out" with.

Then my emotion will come at weird times. Like during a touching family moment on Extreme Makeover Home Edition, or a story on NPR that focuses on a family, or a song, or something. But then the next time I hear the song it won't affect me anymore. I dunno ... it's weird.

I look forward to shedding this awful numbness sometime ... obviously it's not an overnight process.

It takes awhile for callouses to go away ...

-ithinkisee

JWs and the lack of high emotional states

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