PROCESS: I don't belong in this world....yet.

freedomlover

I have been reading a book my hubby recommended to me- Man's Search for Meaning - by Viktor Frankl. Very good book.

He is a survivor of Nazi concentration camps and it's not just another grisly tale of horrors of CC life. He was a psychiatrist and he developed a therapy called Logotherapy. His book deals with the psychological phases of deportation, incoming prisoners, long-term prisoners, and then the release period. He shares his wisdom learned from his experiences and I've learned a lot from his book.

I was reading a part today that made me cry because it cut so deep into what I've been feeling lately. I've been "out" of the org. about 6 months now and the healing process is just that, a process, something that I don't know will ever end. Mr. Frankl talks about the period of time after his immediate release from the camp. He talks about walking out of his prison/concentration camp and he was passing a field of flowers and he looked at how beautiful they were yet he "felt" nothing. He says he felt a "spark" of joy at this sight yet it was only a "spark" still : -he did not yet belong to this world.-

How many of you have felt this?!

rebel8

I almost had a heart attack after reading that title. I thought you had suddenly become suicidal or something. Whew!

jstalin

I've read Frankl's book as well. Althought I can't relate to his experience, I think that his advice on finding something that gives your life meaning is very important. Friends (real friends, not JW "friends") are one of the great sources of inspiration in life for me - someone to share the human experience with is essential to living a happy life.

parlay

Why get to know board members in your area personally? It could help you through your transition and bring you new friends.

Many are going thru what you are. Others are further ahead in their journey. Some have made the transition entirely.

Learning with them and from them can be very benefical to your successfully breaking away from the org.

freedomlover

jstalin- HAPPY B-DAY!

parlay - I agree. I am starting to make new friends with non-JW's. I still find this mental block though in getting to know people who aren't JW's or ex-JW's. It is something that in some ways keeps me feeling like I really belong in this other world that is not the JW world. It is just part of this process that we have to go through.

BTW- if you feel like chatting about your area and people around there I'd love to talk. I grew up in the NY/NJ area and know quite a few people there.

Swan

I have heard about this book. My counselor told me it was very good and that it may be helpful to me. I will have to add it to my book list.

Thanks!

Tammy

Van Gogh

Freedomlover, you described me:

the release period
I've been "out" of the org. about 6 months now and the healing process is just that, a process, something that I don't know will ever end.
"felt" nothing did not yet belong to this world.-
feel elation at first when you leave the org. The POWER you feel is overwhelming - a natural high if you will. presented with *freedom* you've only dreamt about- much like the freedom prisoners dream about, but then you need to figure out HOW to be free. You dream of freedom, and yet it's given to you and you don't really know what to do with it at first; this inbetween world since leaving
Part of that challenge for me is not visiting this board as much. No offense to anyone, but for me the energy I put into dwelling about my old life in the org. only takes away from me being able to move forward into my new life.
yet - the kinship here you feel with others - it's because of sharing this same experience. It's a whole new world that was there all the time - right in front of me- yet I don't belong in it yet. I'm getting there though.... ;)

Freedomlover, Like you: JW by birth and genetic lottery. Ex JW by choice.
VG

dido

I can totally identify with what you are saying, i am finding it very hard to adjust, but am trying to do things to help me integrate with `people in the world`.It doesn`t come natural, and i`ve had to make an effort to do this, it`s like we have been on another planet, isn`t it? I think we have been so cut off from society in general,( especially if you haven`t had to go out to work,) that we feel this `isolation` feeling. It will take time to be able to overcome these feelings, and to feel `at home` in the world.

freedomlover

wow! Dido - I was just reading your thread about the seeing the queen and how it was just something to do to feel like a "normal" person! good for you! that's the kind of stuff we've been doing also. my kids and hubby did mother's day for me this past sunday and it feels so foreign yet really good also. It is like we were on another planet.

Van gogh - thank you. it is so amazing to know someone on the other side of the planet can relate to my experience. just knowing you aren't alone in this journey can make all the difference in healing from this process.

dido

Freedom- that`s great that you`re doing stuff, -we`ll get there in the end!!

PROCESS: I don't belong in this world....yet.

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