Because it made me think and face what i tried to push back. I never thought I’d end up writing about how any childhood memories, particularly if they had to do with JWs. I thought I had ‘successfully’ left the org and that it didn’t affect me once I was out. Well you can never say never.
Why this forum was important to me....my story (Loooong post!)
by never too late to be myseld 25 Replies latest jw experiences
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never too late to be myseld
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never too late to be myseld
Sorry i didnt check the format! just makes it longer to read....
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luna2
Welcome to the forum, never to late. Most interesting post. You've gone through a lot and made something of yourself with very little help from your parents. They sound primative even for Jehovah's Witnesses or maybe the congregations in Spain just more strict.
Its too bad you have to move back home...I would try to limit your association with your JW parents. They don't sound like they would be very supportive.
I do think you can work through your JW past and find normalcy. Possibly talking to a therapist would be helpful in that regard.
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parakeet
Hi, Never too late. You've had incredible obstacles to overcome -- JWs plus a very dysfunctional family. It's no wonder you're still struggling. All I can say is to keep doing what you've already been doing for a long time: keep away from JWs as much as possible, make other friends, talk to a therapist. If you're depressed, there is good medication available to help you through it, in combination with therapy. You're still young, you've got a fighting spirit; I think you'll come through this. Good luck.
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ESTEE
((((((((nevertoolate)))))))) Welcome to the forum. I read your story from beginning to end. Agonizing childhood, isn't it ... being raised in the "truthTM". A story that I relate to, also being raised as a JW daughter in a dysfunctional family. Throw alcohol into mine, as my dad was also alcoholic.
*hugs*
ESTEE
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serendipity
Hi Never too late and Welcome!
Look at all you've accomplished with little support from your family. I have no doubts that you can get your PHD and travel. It may not always be easy, and there may be times when you take two steps forward and one step back, but I bet you arrive at your destination. Just try to enjoy the journey.
I see some commonalities between my story and yours. I didn't go into therapy, but would probably be further along if I had. One thing to consider with your parents - your mom feels she has no choice and your dad doesn't realize he has choices. They may not have been great parents, but if you can find a way to deal with them and even forgive them, it's a gift to them and to you.
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anewme
NeverTooLate, welcome to the forum and thankyou for your story.
You are very bright!
Be careful around your parents! Dont let them suck the spark from you. You may be able to help them though.
You are a loving girl to want to help your family.
Keep reading here and posting. It will help you stay grounded and focused on healing your past.
All the best to you,
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penny2
Dear dear ((((never too late)))). If only I could go through cyberspace and give you a great big hug!!
The way you have been able to express yourself in this post is amazing, especially in a language which is not your first language. I started reading and was just transfixed! You have such a fighting spirit. Against all odds you have extracted yourself from a cult (many never achieve this), gained a university education, lived in a foreign country….
Your traumatic upbringing has taken its toll but with your strength and intelligence, I have no doubt that you can get through this.
With help and understanding you can arm yourself with the skills needed to achieve emotional balance (ie they are skills which can be learned). Some professional counselling from the right person would be ideal to help fast track your recovery but if this is hard to find you can get help from –
This website – there’s some really good help here because specific problems associated with growing up as a JW are discussed. Posting and getting feedback from others can be very helpful. You get to know other posters and they can become your ‘cyber friends’. There’s humour on this site too – laughter is good for you, as you’ve already found out.
Other websites (such as www.panicanxietydisorder.org.au).
Self-help books (but remember a book is just another person’s view – you might have to search to find what’s right for you).
Regarding contact with your family. Your brothers and sister have grown up in the same family. Could you get to know them better? You might be able to help each other. As for your father – it’s hard to reason with a totally dedicated JW. But he too is a product of JW brainwashing. That doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to his abuse and I’d be steering clear. You have to protect yourself!!
Good luck, never too late. Hopefully you’ll have access to the internet in Spain – let us know how you get on.
penny2
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fleaman uk
Sorry i didnt check the format! just makes it longer to read....
No,the format was great and made it easier to read imo.
A wonderful and at times sad story.So may people have thrown their lives away following this ridiculous religion.Im glad your not one of them.
All the best to you.
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Spectrum
Welcome NeverTooLate,
I'm very sorry to read how your early life turned out. But I tell you I was soooooo impresssed when I read that you got up, left, came to the UK did a degree and got on with your life. That shows someone with focus, determination and strength of character!!! I think understanding that about yourself, you will realise that you have the capability of making good decisions as to what do next. You've seen all the bad ways of doing things from your early family life don't let this knock your confidence by remembering it on an emotional reactionary level but try and think of it as, I have such a wealth of information of what mistakes not to do.
What PhD are you thinking of doing?