Why can we LOSE our Religion, but not LOSE it's effects on us? (page 2)

eyeslice

Interesting topic Gumby and one I have mulled over for a long time since my departure from the 'truth'.
At first I thought that I lacked humility and could not take the loss of position and prestige in the congregation that I once enjoyed. But then I could not reconcile this with the fact that I had always thought that I was a humble person; one who never sought personal prestige and who accepted any task given to me.
Then I realised that it wasn't pride that was my problem but a total loss of identity. I has been a witness all my life, had given up lots for my religion, education, work opportunities etc, and was therefore only defined by who I was as part of 'God's organization'. I suddenly lost all that through no fault of my own and although I thought I could just walk away, it has been a long hard and sometimes lonely walk.
eyeslice

freetosee

When I think back it seems to me like it was a different person I am thinking of. Today it is remote and my reasoning is so much different now. However it took me a while not to call it ‘the Truth’. It’s like having two lives.

But I guess the affect it had on my personality or behavior will last forever. It’s part of me.

gumby

It's the hardest thing in the world to hoodwink a former JW.

In many ways this is so true and it's something ex's have ....that many have not experienced or went through nor ever will. Being under mind control such as the type witnesses experience is a unique experience.

In my personal case however, I feel I was hoodwinked twice. I exited the dubs right into christianity without first looking at christianity from a sceptical viewpoint.......it NEVER entered my mind to do so. That's another subject I won't get into.

I suppose the REASON we cannot LOSE old feelings that we would prefer to lose right away.....is because it takes much time to learn all over again. It takes a child years to become wise, so why can we expect to become "worldy wise" in any less time when we exit the dubs with warped thinking of ourselves, others, and life in general.

The only thing that's the shits about the whole deal is.....when you've become older, you don't feel you have ENOUGH time to learn to think and learn for yourself and you feel cheated.....hence angry. I'll be 70 when I'll learn things I shoulda known at 30!.......dang fricken religion anywho

Gumbaby huey

the dreamer dreaming

In my personal case however, I feel I was hoodwinked twice. I exited the dubs right into christianity without first looking at christianity from a sceptical viewpoint.......it NEVER entered my mind to do so. That's another subject I won't get into.

you are not alone, my first impulse was OK if not JWs then who? it never occurred to me that NO ONE might be the right answer

gumby

Dreamer.....well, I'm glad I'm not alone

Sometimes, questioning everything can bring it's own problems as many ex-dubs know. Some are excessively slow to trust again. Some never change and just as big as 'suckers" as they were as dubs and will enter the same scenario they just escaped from. Regardless WHICH catagory you personally fall into, it takes much time to become a mature butterfly when leaving the watchtower cocoon....if you EVER really mature.

Eyeslicer,

Then I realised that it wasn't pride that was my problem but a total loss of identity. I has been a witness all my life, had given up lots for my religion, education, work opportunities etc, and was therefore only defined by who I was as part of 'God's organization'. I suddenly lost all that through no fault of my own and although I thought I could just walk away, it has been a long hard and sometimes lonely walk.

I'd just like to re-post these words of yours in bold type. You summed up the answer I feel to this threads question in these three sentences for the most part. Well put!

Gumcrippled Monarch

greendawn

Many ideas move into the subconscious mind and they continue to exert their influence from there even after the conscious part of the mind has been cleared. they escape detection, the way to delete them, like a pesky virus in a computer, is to bring them up and strip them of all the emotional energy that is attached to them.

gumby

Greendawg 'ol buddy....if'n you ain't blowin smoke...and if'n what you say is true.....then you's one smart sum-a-gun.

Seriously...your words seem to ring true as a sensible answer. It's also like a woman trying to "forget" or not "feel emotionally" what her rapist did to her. Emotions and long standing beliefs are hard to shake....even though you are not the blame.

Gumghandi einstein freud, the third

Mary

Gumby said: It's also like a woman trying to "forget" or not "feel emotionally" what her rapist did to her. Emotions and long standing beliefs are hard to shake....even though you are not the blame.

Another good point Gumbers......I feel like I was raped spiritually and emotionally and those feelings don't go away overnight...I've actually been considering talking to a counsellor who deals specifically with helping people when they come out of a cult. I never thought in a million years that the religion would have such an impact on me but I guess I was wrong........I'm really going to be angry when my parents die. Even though I know it's inevitable, it's going to drudge up all the anger and resentment at being told that I'd never have to witness my parents getting old and dying. After all, the New System would be here long before that happened right?

Bastards.

jgnat

Yes, I also see a lurking resentment amongst ex-JW's for all the time that they have wasted, the years lost.

This may seem kind of mean, but, get over it. We are all the sum of our experiences. If I'd wallowed in resentment for losing my mom to mental illness when I was thirteen, losing my identity to an abusive husband at eighteen, put my creativity and aspirations on hold for twenty years while I raised my children alone....what would I be today? Pretty bitter and twisted.

I did okay. I love my little family and what they are becoming. My seed died, flourished, and bloomed.

You will too.

garybuss

I was raised by ignorant, extremely superstitious, rigid Witness parents. They lived a terrible life and that was all they had to give. My core beliefs were all wrong. They only thing I was really prepared to do by my parents was to die at Armageddon.

Now, I was trying to live a good life with that background. :-)

Why can we LOSE our Religion, but not LOSE it's effects on us?

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