Looking for some insight on why some people here do this

by free2beme 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  kid-A

  The academic dissection of old or current JW literature is an excellent way to either prepare oneself for "anti-witnessing" , personal education about the truth about the deceitful doctrines of the WTS or for some people, preparation of scholarly research on the watchtower organization.

  What I dont understand is how people can live blatantly double lives and exist in a state of "perpetual fade", regardless of personal circumstances, there comes a time in ones life where the decision must be made to adhere to ones personal principles.

  What I find the most disturbing, are those who actually participate in "service" and spreading the watchtower virus in public after knowing the truth about the "truth (tm) "
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  freetosee

  I have been out for about ten years now and I went through different phases. One of them was to trash the WT literature (which I regret now) and not even think about my JW life. I think I needed this time to be certain life is possible outside the organisation and no Satan will take control of me. In that phase reading WT literature made me angry and upset. After understanding the mechanisms used to manipulate us and seeing the human side of WT operations healed much hurt and motivates to help those still in or on their way out. The years we spent inside the organisation give us insider’s knowledge and expertise to educate, alert and expose the WT tactics and dangers. Those with greater inside and knowledge of the Society, due to their functions within it at the time of association, can and are giving very valuable exposures to the moves and cover-ups of the WTS. I think we have all conducted an anti-study of WT material to some extend and each individual has to find his balance in this. I think your call for balance, in not letting the WT occupy the rest of our lives, is good to meditate on as we go on reaching a helping hand to those breaking through the WT control.

  Freetosee
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  blondie

  Kid-A, I wonder what you mean by "fade."

  I haven't gone to a meeting in 4 years, no conventions, no funerals, no weddings, no JW social functions.

  I haven't done d2d for 13 years, any "witnessing" for 7 years.

  But I haven't been DF'd or DA'd myself. I consider myself a "fader," the JWs consider me "inactive."

  Everyone has to handle their feelings about the WTS in the way they see as healthiest for themselves and their family. What worked for me may not for others. I didn't even tell my JW hubbie if, when and how he should leave. He knew when it was time.

  Love, Blondie
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  Blueblades

  I think that many of us still need some sort of validation, which might take any number of ways to get it. i.e still associating at meetings and reading the literature etc. For some it will take a little more time than others.

  Blueblades
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  kid-A

  Kid-A, I wonder what you mean by "fade."

  Blondie, what I mean are "perpetual faders" (and I know several) that really do know that its a cult, are aware of the lies and deceptions but still continue to go to meetings, conventions, etc etc in order to keep up appearances. I agree that everyone has their own personal situation and particular circumstances but having said that, I believe we have a limited number of years in our lives and each moment should be lived genuinely and truthfully to oneself and to those around us. How many people are wasting years of their lives by maintaining "drone" status in the organization even after ceasing to believe any of it?

  This may sound idealistic, but IMHO, if someone is staying in the cult in order to avoid unpleasant repercussions from friends and family, the reality of these relationships need to be questioned anyhow. The test of my parents love for me, is that they continued to accept, support and love me even knowing my true feelings about the borg. If they had rejected me, that simply would have been a litmus test for conditional love practiced in the borganization and I would have had no regrets leaving behind my family knowing that our relationship had been false.
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  wanderlustguy

  Knowledge is power...and somewhere in all the "New Light" could be the antidote for my brother...and preparation for me for the day I will have to make my stand known.

  WLG
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  looking_glass

  I guess for each of us, because we are different people, we address things differently. To me the idea of you either accept me for who I am or I reject you is the same black and white that JWs have which I hate. My approach was, I respect you enough to respect that your beliefs are different from mine. That being the case, I will not be in your face about what you believe and how I believe differently. We will live our lives in a peaceful manner.

  There are so very many reasons people are here. Some want to have further info to disprove the religion. Some want a support group for the pain they are experiencing. Some just want anonymous friends who can understand where they are coming from and how they feel. I think because each of us has experienced something different and we have different motivations, it is hard to understand why people would spend the amount of time that they do to disprove the religion. But maybe that is their therapy. Or the people who talk about taking down the WTBTS, maybe that is their therapy. We may never understand what motivates another person, but that is what makes the world a wonderful place that we are not all the same person and we all color the world in our own way.
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  Chimene

  I also think everyone has their own way of dealing with leaving. I personally threw away any piece of jdub crap I had, I recentle found another book that was hidden away, it also went strait to the trash can. I refuse to read any of it. It just brings back bad memories for me. But then, that's just me
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  mkr32208

  I think lots of you are dead on! People sometimes have a fear of the 'what if' factor! So a bit of research can be a big thing! Also they may have a fear of the WT 'logic' especially those that came in as adults or were raised in it and stayed into adult hood! To those people there may be a fear that 'if I open this magazine they will trap me again!' Sometimes opening the literature can be a huge step out (even thought they are already 'out') My wife won't yet take that step she knows they are wrong she's basically DA'ed herself she's even registered here on the forum and does come on to read (she doesn't comment much but she is reading! Thanks for being so nice to her!) Just not quite ready for that step!

  She did take a 'baby step' last week by reading over the invitation to the convention picking the message apart a bit then crumpling it up and tossing it on the floor... (the can baby, the can, that's why its CALLED a TRASH CAN! the ramblings of a stay at home dad...) So I think that's the reason!

  On the other hand too much can quickly become an obsession and actually take over your life (you know who you are!) So in all things balance is required! Hey that last sentence sounded really "watchtowery" didn't it!
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  Gregor

  Free2..

  You have expressed my feelings very well. But I have come to realize that it does serve a purpose both for the posters and some of the readers, esp. lurkers and faders. It's not for me, I dropped the whole thing like a dirty diaper, but as the saying goes, "there are a million stories in the naked city" or, as I like to say, "there are a million titties in the naked story"