Ken I certainly understand how you feel.
For me the glass is half full and I can see all the wonderful and good things my church has done for the community. I can gaurentee you I am not psychotic. I do have a relationship with Jesus that is not based on any church or religion. There is give and take. I have evidence, science, of miracles he has done for me. Some people say, "well great you healed yourself." No, didn't happen that way. I cried out to Jesus, he came through. I am not alone here, throughout the last 2000 years there have been many who had this deep personal relationship and trust. They were willing to be horribly burned at the stake for this relationship and truth. Read; "Foxes Book of Marytres."
"The primary goal of all istitutions and subcultures is self-preservation. Preserving the faith is central to God's plan for human history; preserving particular religious institutions is not" From "The Myth of Certainty by scholar Daniel Taylor