My 1st time in a KH (page 6)

fl native

Juni and Jaime- If you can't take the "whining/complaining" Why do you still read the posts? LEAVE THE SITE! Thanks for the advice about Jerry Springer- I called and I'll be on an episode the end of July& I'll get paid $50,000 for my story! This board is better served with folks such as Free, Jgnat and others who have been non-judgemental. What is nbsp?

jgnat

What is nbsp? &nbsp is the internet's way of saying they found too many spaces in your message. It's the computer imps having fun with us fleshly human beans.

jaime

I for one wasn't talking about the whining and complaining. I was merely stating that I think your making the whole thing up. Like I said, smells like BS, but go ahead and have your fun. I'm new here, but I doubt I'm the only one who isn't taking you at all seriously.

fl native

I'm new here, too.Making it up??? Why would anyone make something like this up? Unfortunately, this is my life right now. I would never have signed on the forum if I was making it up.. There are no foul smells on this end.

juni

I know you told me to get off the post, but I just have to say one more thing.

There are no foul smells on this end.

Do you listen to yourself? You have a problem; even you said you may be a sex addict. Have you ever sought out counseling?

There is a foul smell eminating from you. You are trashing your own marriage vows while at the same time damaging another family by your sexual greediness. I hope you get the help you need.

Juni

~ T HE E N D ~

fl native

Thanks for caring and being non-judgmental about my situation. It's nice to know there are people out there like you.

wednesday

fl native

why are you the sex addict, there are two people in this relationship? you do not have to be a sex addict to have an afffair, unless that is how you would like to label yourself. The org frequently tries to blame the woman for the affair, she has seduced him, you know. She is a home wrecker. never mind he is also involved. Sometimes the wives like to blame the other woman, but a woman cannnot force a man to have sex . He's there b/c he wants to be.

I would suggest-this is just a suggestion, that you go see a therapist and tell him what is going on. Get some totally unbias impartial advice from a secular soruce, not one that is guided by the Bible , one that is not throwing stones, or mad b/c you are the 'other woman." You need to develop someself respect. Ther are many reasons women lose self respect and do these things. I'd see a male therapist. Perhaps he can give you some guidance on what might be going on with this jws guy and you. I have seen so many elders do the very thing your jws guy is doing. The do have affairs on the side, probably less now than years ago. Now the trend is to break up the bad marriage and divorce and remarry. But it has not always been so. This greedness seems to come with a little power.They somehow feel they are entitled to a bit more.

anyway, hope you do seek some advice, and figure out what is going on.

fl native

Wednesday, You are a Godsend! I value what you're saying more then any other poster. How long were you a witness and why did you leave? I know that the therapist will tell me I need to end the relationship. I know I need to end it but I feel like I'm in so deep and really care for him. We used to have bible studies and he was a great teacher. I told him I wanted to start the studies back-Not because I want to be a witness just because I want/need to get more into the bible. I've heard of witnesses leading double lives & I thought about that when I went to the hall--how many witnesses were not who they claim to be. I thank you for the advice and I enjoy anymore insight you can give on the jw to help me understand better things he might be going thru.

wednesday

hi

I imagine the therpaist will not tell you to do anything. He will listen and help you figure out what is best for you. People do "fall" for therapists and teachers all the time. It really is not at all unheard of for a bible study to fall in love with their teacher. students fall for teachers all the time. It all feels so spiritual. I don't think you are a bad person. just a confused person. He's meeting a need that your husband is not meeting. Sad to say he has a wife, and you have a husband. What a therapist would do is help you figure out what you need to do. do you need to end your marriage,and tell this man that you love him and force his hand? Do you need to just walk away? Is that what you are really wanting by going to the hall, hoping he will be exposed so maybe he will have to leave his wife? Do you feel that he has taken advantage of you? Find a therapist somewhere, and get some body to help you think rationally about this. If he finds out you have shown up at his hall, he may be scared and try to dump you. He is probably terrifed you will tell the elders. . If you tell him you love him and want more of a relationship, do you think he'd consider it? It is not pretty, but people end marriages all the time, and sounds like neither one of you have a good marriage .I cannot tell you what you should do, It appears you have feelings for him . And I can't tell you that people don't have these kind of relationships -because they do. They arent' suppose to, marriage should be between just one man and one woman. But elders have more than once had a girlfriend on the side. As i said in previous post, sometimes for a very long time. But it is not a happy way to live and two other people would feel betrayed if they knew.

Really, it is a matter of time. It won't go on like this. Either he will try to end this or you will decide you can't live like this. You know that. Otherwise you would not have gone to his kingdom hall

myself, I was a life long jehovah's witness until 96 when I realized they were liars. They don't protect women and children and things like what you are going through happen all the time. I left b/c of what I found out on silentlambs.org. go there and read some of the stories and think twice about this religion . This is the religion your friend in now involved in.

I don't know if you are young or old,. and it is scary to be out on your own, but truly, it is better than living like this.

If the elders at his kingdom hall knew what he was doing they would disfellowship (kick him out) him most likely, or at least remove him from being an elder.and then he won't be the teacher you now adore. His wife may decide to forgive him and he could end up staying with her. Then where does that leave you?

Personally, I would find someone privately to talk to , a therapist .

jgnat

I'd suggest a better study group than your lover, but I think you first need to work out what is best for you, as wednesday has suggested. Is there a reason you make your life so complicated? Remember, no matter how much you may want a person, if they don't reciprocate, you have no choice. You have to move on.

My 1st time in a KH

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