by enlightenedcynic 78 Replies latest jw experiences
Either way, it's clear you cannot trust your wife.
I don't see it that way, she is doing what she has been programmed to do, and in her own mind she is trying to "save" you.
I agree with the above suggestions: work on building up the levels of genuine affection in the family, and don't dwell on the Org too much.
Love is all there is, it makes the world go around. Love is totally capable of conquering the evil Borg, Don't ever doubt that.
Pope
You know, after every tight spot I've ever been in I ALWAYS think of a bunch of stuff I should have said or shouldn't have said and it plays in my head for a week as I rehash what happened. Look at you: you have the benefit of lots and lots of people telling you what you should or shouldn't have said!
Just kidding, guys. Feedback is very important and y'all make a lot of good points. And that's why they call this a discussion board. We discuss.
EC, I think you did great. Your back was to the wall and you showed great restraint in not taking a swing at anybody. This isn't only about you and your wife -- you have children and you have to tread carefully. Just be yourself and take this one step at a time.
Chris (Big Tex) left the Witnesses 15 years before I did. I kept waiting for Jehovah to straighten things out and finally realized that the organization was exactly as Chris had been telling me for 15 years -- totally corrupt, hypocritical, with no love whatsoever. But I had to be ready to leave and finally I was. During those 15 years there was a lot of tension between us and I did try to get him to come back (never withheld sex, though -- I'm not STUPID, y'know!!!) to what I still believed was THE truth. It is a great relief to be back on the same page. So be patient with your wife as much as you can without losing yourself in the process.
Hugs,
Nina
Good points Nina.
When Denny first told me about the corruption in my beloved JW religion, I was livid!
He had been raised JW , just like me, he was an elder for 10 years and this was not suppposed to happen.
I told him he was bringing demons in the house and basically threw what can only be described as a "fit".
He was patient with me and in time I knew he would not lead me down a road he had not looked into very closely.
You are in a very tough spot. I don't know what your plans are, but if you do end up separating or divorcing -- whatever you do DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE. It will make it much more difficult to see your kids if (or more like when) the legal battles begin. I know this from experience.
Purza
whatever you do DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE.
Have to agree with that -
---------------------------------------------------------
The p.o. sits back in his chair and unclenches his hands. "Good...good...good, he's gonna be just fine", he says to my wife. .
That's some of the most bizarre s$!t I have ever read - what, are you a horse ? I have more respect for the dog
Thanks again to everyone who posted a response. I do plan to stick it out with my wife because a.) I love her and I know that she loves me also deep down and b.) for the sake of my children. I am just gonna play that role of a good ole' jw. I know that my wife is very afraid, being that she came from "the world" after leading a not so savory lifestyle. She has always told me that she could never go back to that way of life. Of course now, I must show her gradually and carefully that leaving the org is not the same as returning to that past lifestyle. She is very intelligent and studies a lot(wt literature that is) and since I have been on the fade for a while, she views her level of spirituality as higher than mine. So in order for me to effectively win my wife over, I will have to demonstrate an equal zeal for the wt rubbish! Then, when she feels safe and comfortable with me(what 10 years from now?...(smile)..), I should be able to begin trying to reason with her on certain topics. Thats the plan for the moment anyway. Thanks again for all the words of advice and encouragement. This board is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I will keep you posted as events unfold. Warm regards, ec
That's a long road
Saint enlightenedcynic is all I can say
She is very intelligent and studies a lot(wt literature that is)
Isn't that an oxymoron?
and since I have been on the fade for a while, she views her level of spirituality as higher than mine. So in order for me to effectively win my wife over, I will have to demonstrate an equal zeal for the wt rubbish! Then, when she feels safe and comfortable with me(what 10 years from now?...(smile)..), I should be able to begin trying to reason with her on certain topics. Thats the plan for the moment anyway.
Can I start calling you Job?..... because you're going to need his patience and more. Dude, I can understand your dedication to your wife and your children, but you're planning on playing a game for that long?
IMHO, you have to be honest with yourself first. You know the truth about the "truth". Pretending to not know that will only delay the inevitable.
Brad
I am speechless. How can this guy ask you where you got your info, then attack you for not getting it from the "offical WT website" when everybody knows that there is no material on their website!! It's just a couple of pages with a vague description of who they are! No email, no bible, no magazines, past or present!
Where else are you going to get the info!! Also, the way he touches you is revolting and makes my skin crawl, and the way he describes his "knowledge" pointing to his head like a real dumb-ass.
One more thing. Isn't it astonishing the way he says "send the kids away for a while," when you have no realitives on your side. THIS SHOWS THEIR REAL VIEWS OF FAMILY. IT'S ALL ABOUT MANIPULATION. They order you to shun family members, they undermine the family structure, THEY ENCOURAGE FAMILY MEMBERS TO BETRAY EACHOTHER, and along comes this talking boob, passing as a knowledgeable leader, and tells you to leave the kids with realitives. How can you do that when they've ruined your family!?
DISGUSTING!!
((((((((ec)))))) good luck, hope it works out for you.
