For fun----JWDating site again

by Lilycurly 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lilycurly
    Lilycurly

    I started a thread about that some time ago, and posters made it quite entertaining.:)

    So since I'm bored and I just received a notification that I have got another message for my profile on the JW singles site, I thought that I would take a look around and share some funnies the poor souls wrote, (I'm hoping to find a real-life 40 years old virgin out there.)hehehe

    The Brothers:

    "I am a regular pioneer and part-time caretaker at the Assembly Hall in Crownsville, MD. I hope to continue serving in these capacities or more till the end comes."

    " I don't have very many convictions besides wanting to serve Jehovah full-time, as for everything else i am just kinda like eh... whatever :P"

    "Some of my immediate goals include obtaining a national heavy equipment operator’s license; this will be useful in Jehovah's organization. "

    "Looking for a siste rwho is humble,balanced,not too independent,submissive,and respectful and forgiving. Also want to serve Jehovah togethr and to encourage eachother allways. "---(This is from a New Jersey guy...hmmm, perfect exemple of WT education)

    "I currently work at a cemetery, (which any day now should have a going out of business sign in front of it ,...te he hehe)"------(hmmm, JW humor+delusion.)

    "It makes sense that He loves others and wants humans to live happily in a paradise and that a ransom was necessary to restore it. It makes sense that it is the most widespread religion and that everyone in every country of age, race, gender etc. has a chance but only those with good hearts truly understand it."

    "I am not very good writing so I guess I in trouble especially since I am not that good looking either oh well. Oh yeah I am also 30 so I am over the hill too."

    "I get told that I'm a good communicator and very very handsome. But I try to just be modest in my thoughts about myself."----(Um, yeah, maybe he shouldn't have posted his picture, sisters might have kept a hope)

    "I am very outgoing, and interested in any sport that involves balls, a stick or a puck."

    "I know CPR and can save you when you almost drown in my Hot Tub or while we're swimming off the dock in my backyard. I also am a LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPIST. I am in shape athletically toned, I have to be for both my jobs. Who would want a massage from a slob? "

    " I love to engage in the ministry regulary,read the bible daily, attend meetings regularly not forgetting commenting at meetings, if i don't engage in these activities i feel like loosing out in Jehovah's organization,cause only in this way we can stick to Jehovah,improve in our relationship with him and serve him faithfully."

    "im ernegertic, handsome, honorable looking face.i love Jehovah God and his commandments especialy which against fornication."

    "the one should be beautieful,attractive lovable,understanding with a good charater. to let me love her more, because i don,t want to be jealous for another lady after her."

    The Sisters:.....

    "I've been raised in the truth and i love every minute of it...you'd have to be crazy not to!"-----(Yeah, okay!)

    "So I should be getting baptized July 1st at the up coming Deliverance at Hand convention. YAY!"-----(*Gag*)

    "The tract (invitations) work for the convention has been fun. Some of the brothers don't think we'll cover our whole territory in these three weeks, but my parents and I are bound and determined to prove them wrong. lol "

    "When I'm out in service you will generally see me with an older group. I find them very encouraging and I hope some of their "spiritual intelligence" will rub off on me."

    "....I'm going to say the simple things about me...I love coke ( death to pepsi)."

    "we all seriously could do so much more (guilt trip coming here) instead we waste 20 minutes writing a profile on here or looking for new friends BUT at least it's better than TV watching right? =)"

    "I'll want to have someone around that will put up with me for billions of years at a time and vice versa "

    "Come on everyone...you'll be all hot looking in the new system ok?.... take all that time your wasting primping and enjoy life a little more!!!"

    "I wouldn't be complete or happy unless i'm a pioneer ."

    "will enjoy having friends anywhere around this universe"

    "A sincere brother who would make a strong spiritual head."----(I misread that the first time.lol)

    "I would like a spiritually strong, tall, dark, and hansom guy. Great job, Good personality, funny, and easy going. Also has to Love kids, animals, and me. Not necessarily in that order. (BUT THAT WOULD BE A DREAM.)"-----(So basically, she wants a guy that likes kids and animals before her???)

  • brutusmaximus
    brutusmaximus

    I know you are not making this up because I have heard this kind of dull as ditch water crap before, sadly it was me

    Oh thank goodness I am out

    Thanks for the reminder lilycurly

    BM

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    It's sad, really.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • Lilycurly
    Lilycurly

    Hehehe...yeah, I was kind of hoping that some people here didn't have old profiles they had forgotten about over there.

    Well, I can laugh at myself too....here's the one and only time I mentioned "God" in my own profile. (That was about 4 years ago....lol)

    "I'm very at one with nature, the plants, animals (I have a lovely cat named Dru),and of course the one who created all of that beauty. I'm no hippy, eheh, but I firmly beleive in being gentle to every living thing and that God gave us everything we need in the nature for us to be healthy. (I would chose echinacea over cough syrup whenever possible, it does work!)."

    -------Well, you see, no mention of Jah, or Jehovah, or spiritual goals or head of house.lol That should have clued pretty much anyone in the fact that I didn't really cared.

  • mustang
    mustang

    " I know CPR and can save you when you almost drown in my Hot Tub or while we're swimming off the dock in my backyard. I also am a LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPIST. I am in shape athletically toned, I have to be for both my jobs. Who would want a massage from a slob? "

    This one shows promise: no mention of pIONEERING or other JW-ing pastimes. But, this could be an indication of "independent thinking"; this guy may be on the fast track to DF'ing.

    "Come on everyone...you'll be all hot looking in the new system ok?.... take all that time your wasting primping and enjoy life a little more!!!"

    OK; with this thought process, maybe the JW religion has something going for the terminally ugly.

    Mustang

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    It's funny, but way back when... when I had profiles up on a couple of dating sites like Match.com, etc. I also put the same identical profile up on one (or two) of the JW dating sites.

    No mention of God or Jah or the usual drivel that you posted earlier.

    You wouldn't believe the responses that I got from some of the gals.

    I guess they all aren't into that JW-stuff as much as they let on.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

    P.S. Nothing ever came of their contacting me. I would usually let them know that I was an ex-JW - a couple tried to get me back into the borg - but to no avail. I just did it to have a bit of fun, and see if I would get any responses.

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    I know of 3 persons who met another "witness" on JW singles and all 3 ended up sleeping with the girls they met... You can tell (even from these) that there is a huge level of desperation involved with these people!

    Hummmmm....

    I think I might be missing the boat on this one!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    "I know CPR and can save you when you almost drown in my Hot Tub or while we're swimming off the dock in my backyard. I also am a LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPIST. I am in shape athletically toned, I have to be for both my jobs. Who would want a massage from a slob? "

    All this for only $4.95 a minute (condom costs extra).

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    How thankful one can be,.. "not" to be attending meetings anymore.......

    For what ever reason........I remember a brother telling me.....The end is really so close....its because the CO's are getting tired.

    What that has to do with anything....I just don't know.

  • johnnyboi_us_ks
    johnnyboi_us_ks

    Hmmm - I should sign up and ask some of the young bros' where the men seeking men search option is, Bet I will get a few responses form that one, HEHEHE ...

    Since the day I "dissappeared" I have wanted me to show up to the KH with a rainbow flag, bottle of Vodka, and a pack of cigarets; and camp out on the front lawn while they have their meeting. I bet that would get a response LOL

    Question? Has anyone heard of there being any council about JW's and Myspace.com??? Some of my cousins that used to be on there (who are active JW's) dissappeared right after the recent convention... Just wondering, I mean come one, it's a great laugh to read their profiles, reading the first thing. Hi I'm one of J...

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