I'm going to get out (page 2)

Double Edge

Tell them that the original Bible Students that the JWs "broke off" from are still around. Who changed?

Narkissos

Welcome sacchiel,

If you're concerned with your JW family and friends, it might be better not to disassociate.

On the religious side, your post reminds me of how I felt when I left the JWs (20 years ago). I didn't want to leave, neither by fading (the idea didn't occur to me) nor by disassociating, but I had to be honest. I personally chose not to discuss what I thought the WT had wrong, except in rare conversations with very intimate friends. Rather, I mostly shared what I was enjoying in the New Testament. The end result was the same as I was eventually disfellowshipped for apostasy, but not for fighting over technicalities.

Spectrum

Fading away is the best policy. There's no point being a hero.

Dansk

Hi Sacchiel,

Thecarpenter, Spectrum and Narkissos are right! Don't disassociate just yet, if at all. It's far better just to fade, i.e. stop going to meetings. That way you'll just be considered weak but at least communication with your family will still be open.

Read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz (available from Amazon or get your library to order it). Franz's book is an honest account of his time with the JWs, including his nine years on the Governing Body. He reveals many things but also comes across as very level-headed and not bitter. Most people here have read it and it will do you the world of good and prove your decision to leave the organisation is the right one.

All the best,

Ian

catbert

Yes, as many have recommended here, just fade. Thats what I did when I left home in my 20's. I can still associate with my JW family. When I am with my JW family, I never say anything negative about the Org.

fullofdoubtnow

Hi Sacchiel, and welcome to the forum.

Although it's not what I did, I agree with several other posters, I feel fading might be a good option for you, rather than risk losing your family. I da'd but I don't have family in the wts, so my situation was differrent to yours.

Whatever you do, I wish you well.

LittleToe

Depending on how strongly you feel about associating with other Christian's (e.g. Church) you can play it several ways.

I always recommend that folks just get on with their life and let the chips fall where they fall. If they want to DF you, so be it, but if they decide to leave you and your relationships alone, even better.

I decided to DA so that I'd have an opportunity to tell folks that I loved them, and the liberty to go wherever I wanted (including a variety of places of worship) without looking over my shoulder.

Half the battle is being totally mentally free. Without that you remain a slave.

Sacchiel

Hello friends, I am happy to have your support. It helps in thinking this through. I hadn't really thought about fading away. My uncle, whom I love, is an elder. Everyone else I'm practically really close to. As you've pointed out, this does not cut off communication, which is great, but I would have a hard time being let go by everyone. I would be constantly questioned and sooner or later I'd have to share my views. My congregation is not cold, but when it does follow the guidelines, there is not much they can do.

I want to share what a far better promise we have. I just don't know how to do that without raising suspicion.

The idea of fading away sounds better though, but how can I continue doing this? By avoiding everyone/some?

peacefulpete

You've already aquired the "born again" lingo that will immediately alarm them, I hear it in your short posts. Its possible they will not be as afraid of you as they were many of us who left religion entirely but don't kid yorself however about the results to be expected. Divided families are a part of life for most folks, whether its religious intolerance, politics or personal issues like divorce and sibling rivalry. Its gonna suck bad. Find new friends now, including older ones who can play a parental role. I'm not suggesting they can replace your family but they will supportive come what will inevitably come.

Rooster

An old sister in our hall (the one I use to attend) disassociated herself. They would not read her letter to the congregation. They just announced the fact and told us not to associate with her..

I'm going to get out

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