Here are things that I've written on Jwn about my cousin (who was disfellowhipped over 15 years ago ) and the things he's been through the years with the death of his mom and grandfather.
THE DEATH OF HIS MOM:
* made to leave the house when his mother died because Witness relatives were coming over to the house to visit the family.
* had to stay on the side of the funeral room at the wake by himself while the rest of the family sat in the front chairs.
* Elders refused to greet him in the line. They walked right past him.
*He was told not to attend the luncheon after the funeral. He left alone and went home because some members would not attend the lunch if he was there.
COUSIN WAS TOLD NOT TO VISIT HIS GRANDFATHER:
My cousin( who was disfellowshipped many years ago) told me that he cannot speak to or come over to his grandfather's any longer.
He would stop by every month or so just to see his grandfather and grandmother. They are both in their 80's and not in the best of health.
My uncle who is still serving as an Elder would talk to his grandson only when his grandson would visit his house. Well,someone found out and snitched on my uncle. Now,he's being warned that if he continues to talk or meet his grandson he will loose his position as Elder.
My cousin said that the next time he sees his grandfather will be at his funeral.
WHEN HIS DYING GRANDFATHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL:
My disfellowshipped cousin,his girlfriend and immediate family are all in the hospital room with his grandfather( who is heavily medicated but seems to recognize everyone.) I'm in the lounge area with other family members taking turns visiting. The elevators open and three Elders from his congregation come to visit and spend the remaining moments with my uncle.
The Elders walk in the hospital room and see that my disfellowshipped cousin is in the room and decide not to greet him. They talk to my uncle and the immediate family in the room for over twenty minutes and decide to offer a prayer.
They tell my cousin to please leave the room. His girlfriend says to the Elders,"Why should he leave the room? That's his grandfather." They tell her that this is a ''spiritual matter'' and that he has to leave the room. My cousin walks out and proceeds to tell me what just happened.
I believe any religion has a right to throw you out of church for bad conduct. They own the building and have the right to not allow any member who's conduct is unbecoming of the congregation.
They don't have any rights out in the streets, funeral homes,hospitals,wedding banquet halls and any other meeting place. The only reason they shun members is to scare the rest of the members (that you will be in the same predicament if you do the same).