Simon, I appreciate this discussion.
I think it is very important for all of us ( active, nonactive, ex, JWS) to get away from black and white thinking.
I hope your OP will help people think past their knee jerk reaction to everything JW. The issue isn't all or nothing most times.
I like how this discussion evolved into looking into the distinctions involved.
It is healthy to stop and reflect.
When I was in 3rd grade I moved into a very small town and went to a tiny school where all the kids knew each other from birth.
The popular girl A took a dislike to me.
That year she conducted a class wide campaign against me. It started simply.
Every time someone was partnered with me she or her posse would come up to them and say "poor you, I feel sorry for you." If someone actually volunteered to work with me, they would be met with distain and told they had Missfit germs.
By the end of the school year everyone knew that to talk to me or interact with me voluntarily would result in sharing my fate.
Yes, Miss Popular disfellowshiped me from 3rd grade thru 8th grade until I moved.
Those girls didn't think they had a choice either. It was shunned or be shunned.
It's peer pressure, plain and simple. It just depends on who has the power.
On the other hand. Miss Popular's sister tried to do the same to my little sister L.
Little L orchestrated a coup and got some backers from mistreated friends and convinced them to give MissPopularJr. a taste of her own medicine. After a day of shunning, MissPopularJr never messed with sis again and was a kind and gentler dictator. All was well in the second grade.
Little L refused to give the power to Miss.Popular Jr. and fought back.