What keeps you from killing yourself?

by AlmostAtheist 92 Replies latest jw friends

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  AlmostAtheist

  Every once in a while, the whole "futility of life" thing washes over me and something inside of me mentions the suicide option. Not that it's ever seriously considered, but one of the low-level accounting-types in my head quietly sends around a "worst-case scenario" memo that everyone reads, then dismisses.

  After all, things always perk up. "But," reminds the pessimistic little guy that should've been fired years ago, "They always go back down, too. Isn't the cycle a little wearying? A bit futile?"

  Again, he's ignored. And again, he fades into the background, sulking and counting his beans.

  But he always leaves the rest of us scratching our heads and brainstorming, coming up with valid reasons to dismiss his "end it all" suggestion. A few from the white board:

  We have children that love us and depend on us.
  We have friends that care about us and would miss us.
  We haven't written a decent book yet.
  We don't own a motorcycle yet.
  There's so much life we haven't lived yet.

  When your demons pop up and remind you that you aren't obligated to keep on living, how do you dismiss them?

  Dave
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  zeroday

  I have two guns. I never keep ammo at home. If I want to go shooting I buy the ammo and shoot it all off at the firing range.
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  cruzanheart

  I'm always curious to see what's going to happen next. And I'm a pie-in-the-sky cockeyed optimist who always believes things will get better.

  Nina
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  damselfly

  <<When your demons pop up and remind you that you aren't obligated to keep on living, how do you dismiss them?>>
  
  1. I am way to stubborn to give up.
  2. The other little voices in my head say "if you do that then you make their predictions come true" I was told that I would be nothing without the JW's and my family. It's my mission to prove then wrong.
  
  Dams
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  nicolaou

  Dave, good question. I think that things just can't get any worse so I'll carry on bit more. Things get worse - but they cannot possible get even more worse, so I carry on. Get the idea? Yeah I'm screwed up too.

  I'm a pie-in-the-sky cockeyed optimist who always believes things will get better.

  Resonates with this Greek!
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  damselfly

  Yeah, what Nic said too.
  
  I always think, Well this has GOT to be as bad as it will ever get, if I can handle this then I can handle anything. You know?
  
  Dams
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  FMZ

  This is precisely the question I asked myself recently, and this question has been posed by many over the years. From Hamlet:

  To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law's delay, The insolence of office and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover'd country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action. - Soft you now! The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember'd. 

  To be honest, my personal reason for sticking around in this "mortal coil" is that I believe there is a reason we go through these times, there is always a lesson to learn. No reason to drop a whole class because we don't understand a math problem ;)

  FMZ
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  lonelysheep

  I'm not in the darkest place I can be.

  Life, for me, is a see saw that I'm on. At the moment, I am on my feet and level, the see saw not touching the ground. Sometimes it goes up and down. The few times things are just great, or at least my outlook is, the good side is grounded, outweighing the bad. Then it goes back to level and teters up and down just a bit. There are times when I do feel as if I will lose my footing completely, and the other side, the dark side, comes crashing down, landing me on my bum. The good side doesn't seem to stay down no matter what, so I do my best to remain level.
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  slimboyfat
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  SixofNine

  All the things mentioned help, but the thing that's really kept me here is: the daily text.