What keeps you from killing yourself? (page 5)

Brigid

Well, it's hard to beat Mango as a reason to live (then again, there is Mr. Peepers)

Sorry for hi-jacking a bit (couldn't resist).

Only as a JW, did I ever have thoughts and actually tried one time to harm myself. I cannot even imagine that space now~it's like I'm a different person. My children, of course, keep me from even having those thoughts. But it's more than just "not hanging myself from the rafters", it's an actual verve for life even with its trials and tribulations.

It's anticipation for each new day~you just literally never know what or WHO is going to wash ashore tomorrow; some message in a bottle to borrow from the Police:

Walked out this morning, dont believe what I saw
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home

The soft touch of a beloved (or just the anticipation of this) can keep one going for miles.

Hang in there, hon. I mean, you just never know how the Universe will unfold if you just expect good things.

Love and Light,

~Brigid

juni

My family and friends.

The simple pleasures in life.

The hurt that it would cause all of those who love me.

Juni

AlmostAtheist

If you are really having suicidal thoughts, you need to seek out help now. Look in the Yellow Pages under mental health and go see a professional. There is a huge difference between having a bad day and saying, "I feel like killing myself" versus having repeated thoughts about ending it all.

Not suicidal thoughts per se, it's just a bullet point on a list of things that COULD be done. It's never more than a passing thought, no worries.

I've heard that you can consider yourself in danger when you've figured out how you'd do it. Not "I wish I were dead", but "I think if I hit that barrier just right, with my seatbelt off, that would do it." I haven't been in column B for a very long time. I'm usually quite happy, present in the moment, and content.

Thanks, though!

Dave

silentWatcher

"Hey you bastards! I'm still here."

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well said.

Uzzah

I want to echo the comments of frozen one. Depression is not best fought alone.

What keeps me going? A few things, the first being too damned pig headed to give anyone the satisfaction of my early departure. Actually in all seriousness stubbornness does play an important role. I refuse to allow myself to be beaten. If I want something bad enough I will get it.

From one of my executive seminars I used to facilitate:

We have to realize that not everything in life is going to be a pleasant experience. Does this mean it is therefore a 'bad experience?" No. The only time it could possibly be referred to as a bad experience is if we didn't learn something from it, then it still isn't really bad just a waste of time. So while anything can cause us short term pain, emotional suffering it is largely up to us to determine how long we allow that to continue, Perspective has a lot to do with it.

Living as opposed to existing is all about one's willingness to experience a multitude and range of isolated incidents regardless of the investment required or potential return. Or more simply put, sometimes the flowers stink.

Yep sounds simplistic but some days it is my mantra. Sometime the flowers stink. BUT they can still add beauty to the garden/bouquet. The question is will we allow the stinky foul smelling flowers to prevent us from seeing and most importantly enjoying the beauty of the garden? Sometimes in our life, the flowers stink but that does not take away from the beauty of your life and the continued importance of you living it.

I do find helping others to be cathartic as well. I see others do have it far worse than me and then I also get the 'feel good moment' when I have helped someone. Are there volunteer opportunties available where you live. It can make a difference in your perspective.

I wish you well and hope you find your own reasons to keep plugging away. Death is a single option with little flexibility to change it. At least life and living gives you options.

Uzzah

Nina

Not suicidal thoughts per se, it's just a bullet point on a list of things that COULD be done.

That list is yours to edit. Would you consider putting "mass murder" on the list? If not, why not?

The logic here is that you decide where the cutoff point is.

Raise it. Just remove "suicide" as an option.

N.

daystar

I wonder how many try really hard to keep themselves busy so that they won't have the time to think about things like this.

LyinEyes

I just don't to go out that way.

I want to see myself old. I want to "know" me when I have more wisdom from age. I want to see what happens next , everyday.

I do understand that living on thru the years to come , is not going to always be wonderful. As we all get older there are going to be more funerals to go to, more sick friends and family, etc. etac.....but even with that , it is worth it.

bebu

When a form of that question comes to me, I find myself faced with the bare question of whether or not I believe I am (we are ) significant. At heart, do really I believe that? And I cannot help but answer yes.

Even folks without a belief system act as if their/our existence means something. Perhaps our significance is something you must have faith in, even if you cannot find (at this time) a "logical" or "scientific" reason to believe it.

It seems logical to me that the thought that you are NOT significant, while living and acting as if you and those around you ARE significant, can tear you apart. A kind of cognitive dissonance.

Finally, if we had not been brought up learning to care about people (ie, trained to consider them significant), perhaps we would not be entertaining this question. Love counts for a great deal in our lives.

bebu

PS: FMZ, thanks for posting that excerpt from Hamlet.

frozen one

"Living as opposed to existing"

That, my friend, is a line right out of my favorite poem. It was written by Jack London. I use it as my personal mission statement.

"I'd rather be ashes than dust.
I would rather my spirit go out in a burning flame
than that it be stifled with dry rot.
I would rather be a splendid meteor, streaking across the sky,
every atom in my being a magnificent glow,
than to be a sleepy and permanent planet.
For life is to be lived and not to just exist,
and I will not waste my precious, precious days
simply trying to prolong them.
I will use every moment of my time,
and I will live every day to the fullest."

What keeps you from killing yourself?

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