i had one of these days on sunday...no particular reason...just lay in bed thinking about hanging myself from the rafters and wondering how long till someone noticed..ended up crying myself to sleep which i havent done in a long time..thought i was all cried out
so why didnt i....on this occasion - no rope...but if i had the rope then...
I haven't found a way to go that would guarantee it would be over. I'm always afraid I'd screw up the suicide and be worse off than I am now
this would always apply...in fact when i was at my worse a couple of years ago i thought of all the ways that i could kill myself that guaranteed that i would die but that would leave my kidneys in tact cos my sister is on dyalysis...overdose no use...might survive a car crash..wouldnt be picked out of the sea in time...the best way would be a bullet to the head but i live in scotland and we cant buys guns as easily here.
i have picked up a bit since sunday...and i am aware that i am always a bit like this when im not at college cos i dont have anyone to integrate with....but i would also agree with this
We haven't written a decent book yetwell not so much the book thing...but i havent finished recording my album yet so might as well see how that goes first eh and this...
Ironywell.....the irony to be more precise..thats the name of my band and this...
you need to fall in loveeasier said than done...but im determined not to give up on it...doesnt help that i am aware of some who are in love with me but i dont feel the same way in return... but on those hemmingway days no reasoning works for me..just plain old wait for things to improve...which they almost always do to some extent and when they do im funny witty loving caring productive...and people like me just wish those odds days didnt happen