I appreciate the words of another poster who commented that he felt it unwise to post in anger. I have tried to hold calm and keep my anger in check, but that started to change with my NATO posting yesterday.
I am set back over 30 years: I was raised to respect all races, and not to be prejudiced. I was also raised a proud American, and that it was important not to tolerate bullies. When I was young, and a bully pushed me around at school, my mother did not talk to other parents or the school officials, or even the authorities. She told me to stand up and fight back, because that is the only language that bullies respect. But, She also endorsed acting peacefully, and not starting trouble, but find ways to get along until all else will not work. I grew up with little trouble, and took the approach of being fair with people.
My JW days: As a JW I then set aside pride of country as that was also popular during the 1960s and 1970s. And I toned down my political views to near zero, and distanced my feelings regarding events of tragedy as something that happens to the world. I also continued in the way of peace and grew in being fair with people.
Now ALL that has changed in one day: When I realized how many people would die on Tuesday, and the shear evil that struck our nation, I then lost something -- something in me changed. For the first time in over 30 years, I cannot even think about the Watchtower or Jehovah's Witnesses. All my growth in fairness, in acceptance and tolerance was shattered. I am not the same Amazing I was on Monday. Instead, I harken back to my parents disdain for the nations they fought in WWII, and the feelings they had because of the tragedy they faced for four years of War.
Now I understand them: Although my parent influenced my thinking about WWII and the nations we were at war with, I was not alive and aware of the reality. I was born in 1951, and grew up with talk of WWII, but also with a deep sense of patriotism. All the conflicts since that time I heard were such slogans of 'Yankee Go Home,' and the anti-war sentiment during Viet Nam. It was only the Persian Gulf War where I began to have patriotic feelings once again, as my JW views were melting. Now, though, I understand my parents generation and the feelings they had after Japan bombed Pearl harbor. Now I understand their fear, their anger, and even some of their hatred.
As of Tuesday, I became another person: Words still fail me at what has happened. In the bombing of Pearl harbor 2,400 lives were lost. When the rubble is cleared in New York, the count could be around 25,000 or far more. Some people were likely vaporized into dust, so it will take time to assess the death toll. This is too much to bear and not change.
What do I feel now?: At age 50 I stand and look at the continuous scenes in New York, the repeated videos of the planes being deliberately crashed into the WTC, and the stories of horror. I see the whole economy and functioning of the USA ground to a halt. I see the faces of denial by Islamic leaders, and find I can't believe them. I see the faces of the men who trained to fly in Florida and who were on the planes that were hijacked, and I feel ill, and a sense deep bitterness. Their faces are the faces of wicked criminals, religious fanatics, and of a new time in history where we are set back many decades into the shadows of distrust and suspecion of another race. I feel things I never dreamed possible in my own heart. And no JW religious-psychobable is there to desensitize me heart. I am aching deeply.
At this point: I never want to see the Middle East. I want the turbin-headed people of those nations to keep their damn oil and let it rot in the ground. If I have to pay $25 a gallon I will be only too happy to see them not make a dime. I have no problem if the USA has to enact some wartime measures and restrict anyone from those nations from entering the USA, or to deport any non-USA Arabs who are here visiting out of our nation. But, I somehow still hope that USA Arabs will not be treated as the Japanese-Americans were during WWII. I hope we learned from that serious mistake.
WAR?: Yes. Whatever it takes. Time for talk and negotiation ended in my opinion. The time for peace died. The time for working things out is over. The time for action to get the ones responsible and their host nations is here and now. No more excuses. No more whining about being 'above it all on the high road.' No, it is time to fight dirty, kick below the belt and destory the enemy until they are gone. Give them a does of their own medicine.
Do I like what I feel?: No. But I feel it nonetheless - for this is what I became on Tuesday, 9/11. I may need to stop posting for a while if I am unable to get my mind back on JW issues. For this board is about that issue. On the other hand, this issue transcends our local and personal concerns, and this forum vehicle is one place where I can connect with those who are most like me in their foundations, and who can refine my views as I may thiers. Perhaps it is I that needs you more now than ever before, and I need you more than I am able to give back to you in return.
Thanks for listening. - Amazing