Dana
I too feel the numbness at not being able to put my feelings into words. I have the feelings of shock, disbelief, anger, such sadness...they're raging inside and causing physical pain. I share your concern for anger being lashed out against innocent people who share a country of origin but don't share the beliefs and ideals of the terrorists. It frightens me where this all could lead.
Amazing As I expressed my feelings to Dana above, I feel these, not as a member of the United States of America who has been attacked in such a brutal way, but as a member of the human race.
I see the faces of absolute dispair in the surviving family members who anguish over the loss of a son, a daughter, a wife, a husband, a mother, a father and the unspeakable ways they died....and can't find any comfort for the pain that causes me as a fellow human.
And the nagging questions this causes just adds to the despair, as in...how do we make this kind of thing stop, never to happen again? The obvious answer as so many have already stated, is just so horrendous to think about as its going to involve more horrible loss of lives of women and children who aren't even carrying a gun.
I too hate what feelings this is all causing in me. I've always despised war and thought it such a futile waste...not because of my JW upbringing, but because I always was one to talk things out not slug them out and couldn't stand the thought of physically hurting someone else. I now have conflicting pictures in my head of how I would feel holding a gun and looking at the face of someone I was supposed to shoot...and don't know how I could possible pull the trigger.
Then I get pictures of the horribly agonizing deaths that person has caused, or of that person threatening by family, my child, and a rage comes out in me that I don't know how to deal with. But I still want to believe there is a better way to deal with this than nuking a nation. That solution doesn't take away my feelings of anger and despair...it adds to it.
I do know of the turmoil of which you speak. I just wish I had an answer to ease your pain...I don't. I just want you to know I understand it.